


evan hansen likes boys

by lcgan



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-30 11:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 35,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10875984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcgan/pseuds/lcgan
Summary: in which connor reluctantly gets a job at a flower shop & evan makes it better.*lowercase intended*





	1. connor hates adults (confirmed by connor)

**Author's Note:**

> first deh story, be gentle

there was no way in hell that connor was going to get a job at a fucking flower shop. nonetheless, one located at their mall. where his sister works. along with everyone at their fucking school. nope, no way was connor going to do it. imagine the stereotype he'd be perpetuating, gay boy whose place of employment was a flower shop. no thanks.  
  
he hated his parents and that stupid therapist for even bringing it up.  
  
'come on connor, it'll be good for you!' '  
  
_yes, because forcing me to interact with people is great for me._  
  
'flowers can help calm you down!'  
  
_yes, because nature is simply the answer to all mental illness._  
  
'it's a very simple job!'  
  
okay this one, he knew they were saying because they thought he was fragile and incapable of doing anything serious that could stress out his weak mind and make him want to start slitting his wrists again.  
  
 god, connor hated them.  
  
he automatically shut down the idea as soon as they suggested it. then mrs. dornfield, his fucking therapist,  took him aside and told him that he would get out of private counseling earlier if he did. which led him to snatching the application off her desk and filling it out. he handed it to her, grumbling under his breath as he did so. 

 

  
they called him 2 days after he had applied. a girl named alana scheduled an interview with him, for 3:45 the next day. he frowned after receiving the phone call because he hoped that they wouldn't call him back and he could at least say he tried.  
  
  
the next day, after school connor immediately drove down to the mall. it took him a while to locate the small flower shop, it happened to be wedged between a tattoo parlor  (which connor thought was more suitable for him) and a icecream place. he swung open the door and entered the shop. 

  
the first thing connor noticed was how small the place actually was. he knew of course, that the shop was little. but jesus, he didn't expect it to be the size of literally a bedroom?  
  
second thing that connor thought was very prominent were the pretty designs painted all over the walls. they were very intricate and looked like someone spent a long time on them. his ODD compelled him to walk over to one of the walls and trace his fingers over one of the flower designs. it looked like  _henna._  
  
and the last thing that caught connor's eye in the small room was a very, very pretty boy behind the register.  
  
as soon as the boy noticed connor, he ran around the counter and towards him. upon reaching his destination, he flashed a small smile.  "h-hello, i'm hansen evan." he frowned. "i mean evan hansen. you must be, uh, connor?" he inquired, his frown turning back into a shy smile.  
  
connor nodded his head, lazily. evan was cute. adorable, to be exact. he had short dirty blonde hair, and a nice build. he was wearing a blue shirt with a name tag on it that read EVAN HANSEN in big letters. his lips were always in a nervous smile and his eyes darted around a lot.  
  
all in all, connor wasn't sure how long he could keep his gayness intact.  
  
"alana is going to interview you." he said, his blue eyes darting around again. "she'll be here in a minute." he said, before turning around and going into a small door that connor thought led to a room that probably was the size of a shoe closet.  
  
seconds later, another girl appeared. she walked over and sat down at a small table in the back of the shop, gesturing connor to follow.  
  
"okay, so...17, free all the time, and has a car."  
  
"uh, yeah."  
  
"you're hired."  
  
"what? that's it?"  
  
she rolled her eyes and sighed. "do you want to be interrogated, murphy?"  
  
"er, no." he quickly replied, relief filling his body.  
  
"good." she said before explaining his schedule to him. he quickly learned that only one other person, aside from alana and evan worked here.  
  
"so when can you start working?" she said, walking him to the door.  
  
he glanced at evan who was staring at him with his big, blue eyes until he noticed connor staring back. he quickly looked away and began to play with the cash register.  
  
"anytime." connor answered.  
  
  
"tomorrow evan'll show you the ropes, show up at 4." alana said, waving before turning around and going back into the small room.  
  
  
  
  
  
the next day connor woke up with a weird feeling. he soon realized that he was actually looking forward to going to the shop again. weirdly, he liked alana and evan. even if he did only share a couple sentences with them. they were interesting, and interesting was something connor's life was currently lacking.  
  
around third period as connor was lounging in the library, deciding whether or not to skip, a furtive looking evan hansen strolled in. connor smiled.  
  
he followed the boy to a poetry section and hid behind the bookshelf. as soon as he noticed evan pulling out a book he put his face behind it, in order to scare him. he was too late to move his face, and it didn't work.  
  
"hey connor." evan said softly.  
  
"heya evan." connor said trying his best to sound cool and uncaring as he always does. truth was connor usually didn't have to pretend, he hated interacting with most people. but with evan hansen, connor felt the need to act like he had conversations with cute boys all the time, and that he didn't almost sort of blush whenever evan looked at him.  
  
"so, uhm, what are you doing here?" evan asked before freezing up. "that was a dumb question, i mean this is a library. it's public, sort of, and everyone can come and go. the library also only has like three things to do anyways, i don't know why i asked that. i'm really sorry." he said in one breath.  
  
"woah, jesus calm down." connor said. "relax ev, really it's not a big deal."  
  
"sorry."  
  
"would you stop apologizing so much?"  
  
"sorr-okay."  
  
_fuck,_  he thought. evan was really cute.  
  
"i was just about to skip, what class are you in right now?"  
  
evan blushed, for no apparent reason. "world history."  
  
"mind joining me?"  
  
as soon as connor asked he immediately wanted to take it back. he was so stupid. why would evan want to skip school with him? why would he even ask after knowing him for literally less that 19 hours in total. god, sometimes he hated himself and just wanted to curl up into a fucking ball and just di-  
  
"sure." evan answered.  
  
"wait, what?" connor must have heard him wrong.  
  
"uhm, i'd like to skip with you. if the offer still stands." he repeated, blushing for the millionth time.  
  
"yes, of course it does." connor answered quickly. "my car's outside, come on."


	2. icecream, trees, and beds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi !  
> it's your girl with an update like a day later.
> 
> okay things to point out based on comments on the last chapter. 
> 
> a) lowercase is intentional
> 
> b) im planning this story on being sort of long, i don't know.

evan hansen was, for the first time in his 17 years of life, proud of himself.  
  
he had made a friend. all by himself. or at least he thought.  
  
wait, what if connor didn't think of him as a friend? what if connor was just bored and wanted some sort of company? what if connor actually hated evan and dragged him along so he could ditch him alone, far away from his house?  
  
_stop it, evan. you're being ridiculous._  he thought, scolding himself mentally.  
  
he glanced briefly over at the long haired boy. he looked pretty concentrated on driving, so he didn't notice evan staring.  
  
connor murphy was very attractive, as evan had noticed the previous day. the boy had sharp features and full pink lips. his nose was straight and his almond shaped eyes were a lovely shade of honey brown. and oh my god, his hair. conner had what looked to be the softest, nicest hair evan had ever seen. he felt the weird urge to run his hands through the brown mess on his head. connor was wearing a simple black hoodie and skinny jeans.  
  
overall, evan found connor beautiful.  
  
not that he was going to tell him that.  
  
suddenly evan's thoughts were interupted when the car slowed to a halt in the mall parking lot.  
  
 "i was thinking icecream?" connor asked, turning the key and taking it out of ignition.  
  
"that sounds great." evan answered, a nervous smile forming on his lips.  
  
the mall was practically empty, with just a few people roaming around. they made their way to the icecream shop by their place of employment.  
  
as soon as they entered the shop, evan started to panic.  
  
what if he picked a weird flavor? and connor didn't want to be his friend because he ate pecan butter icecream? what if he took too long to order?  
  
_calm down, evan. just go with vanilla. no one hates vanilla._  
  
"so what are you getting? i hate vanilla. it's boring." connor said, as they waited in line.  
  
_crap_.  
  
"uhh, i was thinking, cookies 'n cream?" evan said, saying the first thing he saw.  
  
connor gave him a small smile. "me too."  
  
a small breath of relief left evan's mouth as connor said, "two cookies 'n cream", to the person behind the counter.  
  
the man handed them two cones and evan reached for his wallet, but before he could take out the money, connor slapped a ten dollar bill on the counter. "keep the change." he said, walking out of the store.  
  
evan walked faster to catch up with connor's long strides. "i-i could have paid." he said, staring at his cone.  
  
connor shrugged. "i asked you to come with me, it'd only be right for me to pay for you."  
  
now, evan was positive that a friend paying for food for you was normal for average people. but after what connor said, evan's heart kinda skipped a beat. he was so happy that he actually had a friend who genuinely wanted to spend time with him and bought him icecream and is now taking him to- _wait where were they going?_  
  
"where are we headed?" evan asked, watching connor eat his icecream cone.  
  
connor licked his pink lips and turned to look at evan. "no date is really a date until we take a stroll through the park, right?"  
  
evan had some sort of a heart palpation, as soon as the word 'date' left connor's mouth.  
  
it wasn't a bad one either.  
  
evan had a sudden realization that he wouldn't mind being on a date with connor.  
  
which was weird, considering evan had never really thought of a boy like that. he didn't even know if he liked girls. well he's only ever had a crush on a girl once in his life. and that was what, fifth grade? and zoe murphy was hardly a girl, she was practically a goddess.  
  
"you okay?" connor asked, bringing evan back to reality. "you know we don't have to go to the park if you don't want to?"  
  
"no, no, it's fine. i'd love to."  
  
funny how one sentence from connor made evan rethink his sexuality.  
  
connor smiled slightly and grabbed evan's hand.  
  
there goes evan's heart again. by the end of the day, evan was scared he'd have a heart attack.  
  
don't they rip open your shirt when you have a heart attack? what if connor saw evan's chest? and stomach? what if he thought evan was too thin and weak?  
  
"this way, evan." connor said, pulling him by his hand towards the right car.  
  
_he was trying to lead you to his car, he wasn't holding your hand because he likes you idiot._ he thought, scolding himself again.  
  
connor let go of his hand to get his keys and open the door. he unlocked evan's door, and evan got in the car.  
  
the car ride wasn't very eventful, but it wasn't silent either. they talked about a lot of things. like, what they wanted to do after school ends. evan was taking a gap year, not because he wanted to but because he had to. his mom and him hadn't saved enough for him to go to college yet.  
  
connor looked sympathetic at that, but not like he was pitying him.  
  
connor, was also taking a gap year. he didn't explain why, and evan was not about to ask.  
  
"nice, now we can spend two years of our lives doing nothing but eating icecream and hanging out in forests." connor joked, smirking slightly.  
  
evan was seriously concerned about his heart now.  
  
"wait-forest?"  
  
"yeah, it's right by the park. it's usually more empty." connor said pulling into the parking lot.  
  
when they got out of the car, connor pointed to a patch of trees a couple miles away. evan sighed at how much they had to walk.  
  
connor snorted and offered to give evan a piggyback ride jokingly.  
  
a couple minutes later, they were close to the area surrounded by trees.  
  
"follow me!" connor suddenly yelled, running towards it.  
  
evan marveled at how fast the boy ran, before realizing he was supposed to be following him and connor was taking a turn and was nearly out of his eyesight.  
  
he began to ran after connor and before he knew it, he was racing the murphy boy to the tallest tree.  
  
upon reaching the tree, they both began climbing on opposite sides of it. branch after branch, foot before the other until they reached the very top and evan found a thick branch that looked sturdy enough to sit on. he thought he had made it before connor did and looked down so he could boast, but there was a swish and then suddenly connor was sitting right by him.  
  
"h-how did you-?"  
  
"i was on the branch above you." he answered, like it was no big deal.  
  
"so you just-dropped yourself?"  
  
"yeah."  
  
"what if you fell?"  
  
connor laughed. "wasn't aware you were my mom, hansen."  
  
"i'm just looking out for a friend." evan said, feeling his anxiety rise.  
  
connor looked up at him, with those pretty eyes of his. "friends?" he asked, rather harshly.  
  
_oh._ evan thought. _oh_.  
  
he felt his heart sink in his chest.  
  
evan felt like he was close to bursting into tears when suddenly connor gently punched his shoulder. "we went on a date, with icecream and then we climbed a tree and we're about to watch the sunset together and then out of nowhere you friendzone me?"  
  
and then evan _did_ cry. after laughing so much, of course.  
  
  
  
after they'd been up on the tree for what seemed to be hours, and the conversation had died, connor mumbled something under his breath.  
  
"what did you say?" evan asked, his head leaning on the trunk of the tree.  
  
"i said, there's no where else i'd rather be right now." connor said.  
  
evan smiled widely. "me too."  
  
"except for maybe ryan reynold's bed." connor said, standing up on the branch and moving down.  
  
evan laughed, and followed connor. "or ben affleck's." he chimed in.  
_  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this was all fluff, but be prepared for angst & sad stuff soon.


	3. cereal, suicide, and crushes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave more comments !
> 
> also wowowowow 100 kudos? 
> 
> I love you guys.
> 
> also warnjng, there's talk of suicide & selfharm

connor murphy had tried to kill himself twice.

the first time was about three years ago, when he was only fourteen.

he had come home from school to find his mom and dad yelling at each other again, and as soon as he entered the room his dad's negative attention immediately switched it's focus over to him.

he had taken every single one of his insults quietly for the past six years and was sick and tired of being degraded and called worthless and useless.

he was just so tired of everything.

and as he stood there, grown man yelling and shooting spittle at his face, his mom trying to help but not knowing how, his sister hiding from behind the door, he realized, that maybe he could rid himself of everything.

or rather, rid everything and everyone of him.

and so connor waited until his father was done and went to bed. he tucked his sister in, kissed his mom's forehead, and slipped out of the house.

as soon as connor had left the door, the cold air biting his cheeks, he began to register that he didn't actually know how.

i mean he had heard stories, like throwing a toaster in a bathtub or shooting yourself in the head or just slitting your wrists.

but connor; a) didn't own a toaster b) didn't own a gun and c) didn't want to make a mess, or have it take too long.

then connor came up with an idea.

he was going to throw himself off a bridge.  

                                  ___

"come on, con. tell me what happened, you've smiled a grand total of 6 times since wednesday night." zoe said exasperatedly, filling her bowl of cocoa puffs with milk and taking it back to the kitchen table.

connor rolled his eyes. "i already told you, we had icecream, that's it." he answered, texting furiously.

zoe peeked over his shoulder and connor moved a bit too late. his little sister gasped and sat back down in her seat. "just evan?" she asked, looking at him from across the table. "isn't it rude to save your boyfriend as his name? shouldn't it be something like 'love of my life'?"

"shut up." connor said, sighing and setting his phone down on the kitchen table. "zoe, i fucked up." he said suddenly.

zoe took a bite of her cereal. "wadja do?" she asked, cereal still in her mouth.

"when evan and i were hanging out i joked about being on a date like four times, what if he thinks i like him?"

"but you do."

"yeah sort of, but he can't _know_."

"why the hell not?"

connor stood up and ran a hand through his tangled hair. "it'll ruin our beautiful blossoming friendship, smart one."

zoe rolled her eyes, and got up to put her bowl in the sink. "that's dumb."

connor opened his mouth to say something along the lines of 'you're dumb' but was cut off when he heard a ping sound coming from his phone. he grabbed it and noticed a text from evan.

_**evan** : help._

_**connor** : what's up? _

_**evan** : mom has friends over, and they're touching my face. take me somewhere _

connor smiled, emitting a 'aw, number seven' from zoe.

_**connor** : oh shit, omw_

_**evan** : you're an angel_

okay, connor knew that evan meant that in a joking manner, but _fuck_ , did he really have to say it at all.

now connor was going to mess up and say something dumb as soon as he sees him.

it'd been approximately four days since the whole icecream and forest thing and frankly, connor had not recovered from the sheer gayness of it all.

damn, did his heart skip a beat when evan said those two words.

 _me too_.

connor sighed, and drove over to the address evan had sent a couple days ago when he went to pick him up.

evan's house was pretty small. evan had told connor thought it was just him and his mom, so that made sense. but compared to the murphy home, evan's house was a shack.

his thoughts were interupted when he saw evan jogging down the sidewalk.

it didn't take a while for connor to find out that evan's favorite color was blue. he wore it everyday. light blue, sky blue, dark blue, navy blue, anything really.

connor thought it was adorable.

evan swung open the door and climbed into the vehicle. he put on his seat belt and turned to look at connor. "bless you."

connor laughed and began to drive away from the little house. "i didn't sneeze."        

                                   ____

a lady who was walking her dog around had seen him climb the railing. apparently she called 911 and before he knew it they were talking to him and finally he listened and got off the railing. they kept him in a hospital for a week. his mom and zoe had kept visiting him, until one visit where his mom told him that she had left his dad.

connor cried out of happiness.

a couple months later, they had left their shitty apartment and were living with his mom's new boyfriend. who, as connor noticed was _loaded_. life was going good for them for a while.

until connor was introduced to drugs.

never in his life, did connor think for even a second that he'd become an addict. even afterwards he thought of himself as an avid user, not a drug addict.

his mom and new dad tried to help, they really did. but connor just wouldn't stop. his temper got bad, he verbally abused his teachers and peers at school, he began to be more negative and rude.

connor thought that there was no way his life would get back on track. but then it did.

jared kleinman, asshole extraordinaire, had been assigned to work with connor for a school project. and before you knew it, the two were practically friends.

jared managed to get connor to stop doing drugs, and connor helped jared stop drinking.

then junior year happened and they stopped speaking.

and that, is when connor tried to slit his wrists.

he didn't mean to kill himself, just to distract himself. but then one night it got bad, and the blood wouldn't stop. zoe found him lying on the bathroom ground, watching his wrists bleed.

this time he was in the hospital for a month. when he got out, he was forced to take counseling sessions with a therapist.      

a year later, connor still struggled with his thoughts but he never acted on any of them.                                        ___

after they had gotten icecream (two cookies 'n cream) they drove down to the forest.

instead of climbing any trees they lied down in the grass.

connor found it so easy to talk to evan that it was actually scary. they talked about so many things that there wasn't any boundaries.

"describe one of your old crushes." connor said. they were reading an article that had a list of things to talk about if you wanted to be more 'close', ironically of course.

"hmm." evan said, tapping his lip. "there was one girl. in like fourth or fifth grade. she was like, perfect. i was practically obsessed with her."

"what's her name?"

"zoe." evan answered.

"my sister's name is zoe." connor said.

"wait you have a sister?"

"what kind of boyfriend _are_ you?"

evan blushed. "you never mentioned it!"

"hmph. whatever. last name?"

"murphy, like you."

connor laughed. "you had a crush on my sister in fifth grade?"

"no, no i'm positive she wasn't your sister. she looked nothing like you. she has-"

"darker skin, gold eyes, and black hair? yeah, my sister. my adopted sister."

evan sat up quickly, staring at connor as if waiting for him to say he was joking.  "wow." he finally said.

connor laughed even harder. "it's a small word, after all." he said, laying his head back in the grass.


	4. adoration, adoption, and addiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments !
> 
> also sorry it's been 3 days. I was working on two chapters at once.

evan hansen's life was going great.

he had a job that payed alright, school was almost over, his mom got a pay raise, _and_ he has a best friend.

evan absolutely adored connor.

connor was just, all in all, perfect?

he was surprised connor didn't have hoards of people lined up to be his friend.

he never saw connor at work, because they worked different shifts, but he saw him at school and they hung out after school alot.

connor was just as sweet to evan at school as he was outside of school. needless to say, evan's truances were rising at a steady rate.

he'd always try not to skip, but then he'd see connor lounging around by his locker looking sort of sad and immidiately go get ice cream with him.

"evan." connor said his name, as they were driving back from the forest.

"yes?" evan answered, dusting his jeans off.

"i think it's time you met my parents, i've talked about you so much they think you're an imaginary friend." connor said, glancing over at evan.

evan felt his heart practically swell with happiness. connor talked about him?

wait, what if connor told them all the dumb things he's said? what if connor told them that he's weird?

as if noticing evan panic, connor quickly said, "all good, all good, i swear."

evan let out a breath. "okay, good."

connor narrowed his eyes, in confusion."there's literally nothing bad about you to tell them anyways."

evan shrugged. "i'm a mess."

connor laughed. "evan, you're perfect."

evan felt his cheeks get warm, and he struggled with something to reply with.

"so, yes or no?" connor asked, hesitantly.

"yes." evan answered, getting nervous.

connor broke out into a smile. "bless you, hansen."

"i didn't sneeze." evan retorted, smiling back at connor.

connor shook his head slightly, his hair bobbing along.

    

 

 

 

connor's house was huge. a lot bigger than evan's anyways. it looked like something out of a reality TV show.

 _keeping up with the murphys_ , evan thought, waiting for connor to return from calling his parents.

"connor would so be kim." he heard a voice say from behind him. "unable to keep a stable relationship, ugly crier, and always has something rude to say? sounds exactly like him."

he turned around and found himself face to face with zoe murphy.

"sorry, i didn't mean to say that out loud." evan said, scratching his neck.

"it's alright. you must be evan hansen!" she asked, studying him awkwardly.

"correct." he answered.

zoe was just as pretty as he remembered. shiny black curls, pink lips, beautiful eyes.

"where's connor?" she asked, gesturing him into the living room.

"he said he's calling your parents down." evan replied, sitting down on one of the expensive looking leather seats.

"so, how do you two know each other?"

"work, and school."

"you work at the flower shop too?"

evan nodded, as three people entered the room. first was connor, with his unruly mane and black cardigan. second was a woman with a striking resemblance to connor. she had his sharp, straight nose and his nice brown eyes. lastly, was a tall black man with kind eyes, glasses, and a knitted sweater.

evan felt his anxiety rise through the roof.

what if they didn't like the way he looked? what if they thought connor was too good for evan?

his thoughts immidiately subsided as connor walked over and threw his arm around evan's shoulder.

"mom, dad, zoe, this is evan hansen."

connor's mom surged forward and gave him a sudden hug. "hello dear." she said, before gently ruffling his hair and asking if he was hungry. he shook his head nervously.

evan wasn't really used to being hugged by anyone who wasn't his mom. and even she barely hugged him. she was always working and never really payed attention to him.

then mr. murphy walked over and evan got even more nervous because he thought he was going to hug him as well. instead the taller man shook evan's hand. "our home is your home." he said in his deep voice.

he turned to his wife. "i have to leave." he said, kissing her cheek. "be good." he said to zoe and connor, before smiling at evan and walking towards the door.

suddenly connor walked back over and clapped his hands together. "okay, since you've all met evan and now believe that i have a friend, can we leave?"

his mom frowned. "why not stay for a little while?"

" _because,_  evan and i are going to get ice cream and then see a movie." connor answered matter-of-factly, sounding like a sassy, sixteen year old girl.

evan's heart began racing.

 _that sounds a lot like a date_ , he thought.

"that sounds a lot like a date." zoe chimed, from her seat on the couch.

"choke, zoe." connor said to his sister.

"isn't that your job?" she said raising her eyebrow and looking at evan.

evan blushed furiously.

he wanted nothing to do with this weird sibling rivalry.

" _zoe._ " their mom said in that weird threatening tone all moms seemed to have.

"he started it." zoe muttered.

"well, i'm making dinner. are you sure you two boys aren't going to be here?" mrs. murphy asked looking at connor and evan.

"positive." connor answered for the both of them.

"make sure you feed evan." she said. "and icecream is not a sufficient meal."

"yes, mom." connor replied, rolling his eyes.

as if she were waiting until her mom left, zoe immediately flipped her brother the bird.

connor stuck his tongue out at her, making evan stifle a laugh.

connor looked at evan and shot him a smile.

" _g_ _ay._ " zoe coughed.

"says you." connor retorted, rolling his eyes again.

"yes, says me, and as we're on the subject of me being gay ; evan would you mind giving me your co-worker's number?"

"alana?" evan asked.

zoe nodded. "get my number from the ugly sibling."

"zoe, you're adopted." connor said, narrowing his eyes.

evan felt his heart drop.

he felt like connor crossed a line.

he was going to say something when zoe laughed.

"at least my parents chose me." she quipped, patting connor on the back. "they're stuck with you, crackhead."

connor had told him about his previous drug addiction one night, when they were at the forest. he didn't go into much detail but evan knew enough to know that it seemed like a sensitive subject.

now, evan thought that zoe had crossed the line.

until connor laughed. "good one," he said, "although i never really did crack."

"those aren't things to be joking about." evan said, looking at them in complete confusion.

zoe shrugged. "we don't mind."

 _maybe this family just didn't have lines_ , evan thought watching the two siblings get back to bickering.

 


	5. jared kleinman, jealousy, & jesus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added jared kleinman and everything's more dramatic when jared's involved.
> 
> also ! 
> 
> comment more, i love comments

connor had become more and more obsessed with evan hansen with every passing minute they spent together.

evan was absolutely perfect.

everything evan did was so precise and nice it made connor want to scream.

his notes for science, that connor liked to copy, were always printed in the prettiest most neatest hand writing he had ever seen.

he could copy them in 5 minutes flat, but liked to keep them for at least a day to have something to look at that reminded him of evan.

he didn't even need the notes to think of evan.

everywhere he went, everything he saw made him think of the boy.

the color blue, ice cream, trees, science.

god, connor was _whipped_.

platonically, of course.

he was sure evan had never thought of him that way.

not that connor hadn't thought of evan that way.

it was hard not to, what with his soft hair and pretty lips and kind eyes and-

"connor!" a voice interrupted him imagining evan.

he turned around with an irritated expression before noticing that it was evan himself.

his face immediately turned into a smile.

until he saw someone else by evan.

he didn't mind the whole, someone walking next to evan thing, but this person had his arm draped around evan's shoulder.

something connor liked to do.

it didn't help that the boy seemed to be sort of attractive from afar.

connor's smile dropped as he waited for evan to approach him at his library table.

"hey, evan." he said, ignoring the boy.

"wait a minute- connor fucking murphy?" the boy said, leaning towards connor.

connor immidiately recognized the voice of the one and only jared kleinman.

"wow. i haven't seen you in a hot minute." jared said, smiling and patting connor's back. "you still look like a homeless person."

"and you still look like an overgrown toddler." connor answered, his eyes drifting to the hand that was still wrapped around evan's shoulder.

"how do you know each other?" evan asked, seemingly happy that two of his friends recognized each other.

"last year, we were best friends-" jared started, before connor spoke over him.

"last year, we worked on a project together."

evan looked confused but nodded.

he squirmed away from jared to sit by connor.

connor felt an immense surge of happiness as the boy leaned over to see what he was working on.

"i had no idea you took ap english." evan said, presumably shocked.

"wow, hansen. is it because i'm dumb?" connor joked, knowing that this was going to cause evan to freak out and try to apologize but would end up in a long dialogue that made no sense and ended up sounding sort of gay.

"no, no, i would never say that because you're dumb. not that you're dumb, of course. that's like the complete opposite of what you are. which is smart. you're very smart, connor. and it'd be a shame for someone to not know that and just assume based on how you look. not that you look dumb of course. or homeless, like jared said. i think you look nice, and personally i like your sort of rugged style."

god, it was moments like this that took every muscle in his body to restrain connor from leaning over and kissing evan as hard as he could.

jared coughed as if to indicate that he was still there. "so are we going to get ice cream or not?"

connor looked over at the boy annoyed. "who said i wanted to get ice cream with you?"

"i was talking to evan." jared replied bitterly.

"who said evan ever wanted to get ice cream with you?"

"who said he didn't?"

evan scratched his neck nervously. "guys, how about we all go out to eat real food instead?"

connor rolled his eyes.

"no thanks, evan. i'd rather go home and strangle myself than eat at a restaurant with fucking jared kleinman."

"something you'd have practice with, right conny?" jared retorted, glaring at him.

"jared. shut up." evan said, standing up quickly.

jared and connor ignored him.

connor stood up and shoved his chair in. "shut the fuck up, jared."

jared moved closer. "fucking make me."

connor, of course, took that as an invitation to sock jared in the face.

jared pulled back for a moment, and then punched him back.

then connor charged and shoved jared to the ground. before, he knew it he was on top of jared, receiving hits and delivering them.

he heard evan frantically yelling and then other students began surrounding the two boys before a couple of teachers finally separated them.

"kleinman, murphy, and hansen. my office now." their principal boomed.

jared wiped the blood from his nose on his sleeve. "but evan didn't do anything." he protested.

"just go." he said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

 

 

connor had been suspended for a week, his mom had grounded him for two.

jared was suspended for three days.

and evan, only got an hour of detention. for what, connor didn't really know.

on the first day of his suspension, evan had visited him right after school.

he had come over, profusely apologized, even cried a little and then begged connor for forgiveness.

"i'll do your homework for the rest of the year." evan had said.

connor shook his head and smiled.

evan caring about him was enough.

and the babying.

oh, how connor loved the babying.

evan had tended to his bruises and cuts like a nurse.

he'd even brought over his mom's first aid kit and disinfected connor's tiny cut above his lip. he'd iced his face and checked his temperature.

and all while his face was hovering right over his. his lips were so close, connor felt like if he moved just two centimeters over he could kiss evan.

so yeah, it was amazing. but it was also complete torture.

and since connor was grounded and couldn't leave the house to get ice cream with evan, evan just brought them ice cream from the shop and kept him updated.

it's not like connor left the house for any other reason than to see evan, anyways.

on the fifth and final day of his suspension, jared kleinman had rung the doorbell.

connor opened it with an annoyed expression.

"what the hell do you want?"

"who's at the door?" evan asked from the living room where they were watching a movie.

"one of those people who come and talk about jesus." he called back.

jared looked surprised at the fact that evan was at his house. "i, uh, came to apologize."

"why?"

"because the things i said were asshole-ish and i was just jealous."

"jealous?"

jared scratched his neck, and lowered his voice. "if you tell evan, i will literally kill you."

"what is it, kleinman?" connor asked, getting genuinely curious.

"i had a crush on evan before, and i was sort of irritated that he'd like you of all people instead of me." jared admitted, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

connor laughed. "what's wrong with me?"

jared rolled his eyes. "you're a suicidal dick."

"maybe so. but he still likes me more than he likes you."

jared barred his teeth. "suck a dick, murphy."

connor winked. "oh, i will."

jared scoffed. "you wish evan would let you near him."

connor narrowed his eyes and smirked. "i don't have to wish because he has."

jared's eyes widened. "you're joking."

"what's taking so long, i miss you." evan called from the living room.

 _perfect time to be extra gay evan_ , connor thought.

"now if you'll excuse me, i have to go tend to my _boyfriend's_ needs." connor said. "bye jared."

"screw you." jared said, but left nonetheless.

 

 


	6. connor's birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's going to be like three birthday chapters   
> i'm sorry !
> 
> also your guys' comments make me cry thank you so much keep doing that

evan was panicking.

not that that was something that didn't happen a lot.

but this time it was a more severe sort of panicking.

connor murphy's birthday was in three days.

and evan had no idea what he was going to give him.

he'd thought long and hard about it and decided he wanted it to be something sentimental.

then he realized that he had no idea what sentimental meant in this case.

connor murphy was nowhere near sentimental. he was nice and caring, sure. but evan's been told multiple times by multiple people that connor is only really like that with him.

"are we talking about the same connor murphy?" jared had said, one day as they were restocking flower pots at work.

overall, 'sentimental' is not something that was going to be easy to find.

"what about a mixtape?" he had asked zoe nervously.

she snorted, sounding like her older brother. "are you joking? connor would probably throw it away and say something about 'caucasian heterosexual rituals'."

zoe and jared had been much help.

if rejecting every dumb idea he had was helping.

at this point evan was planning on giving him a hug.

as soon as he suggested it to the younger murphy and jared as a joke, zoe gasped.

"evan, i have the perfect idea!"

"don't say hug, because that was _my_ idea."

"no, no. give connor a kiss!"

"zoe, are you crazy?" evan asked in all seriousness.

she had jumped up from her seat and was walking up to evan with wide eyes. "no, it's a perfect idea evan."

evan rolled his eyes, turning away from the shorter girl. "zoe. i'm not gay."

jared scoffed. "then what _are_ you, hansen? because the way you look at that hobo is nowhere near straight."

evan scratched his ear nervously. "i honestly have no idea."

zoe sighed and went back to her seat. "this isn't hard evan. do you like girls, boys, both, everyone or neither?"

evan stood there awkwardly. "i've only ever liked two people. a girl and guy. and one of them i'm not even sure about?"

"what do you mean?" jared asked, looking up from his sandwich.

"i liked zoe a while back, but now i guess i sort of admired her and maybe i confused that as a crush?"

"maybe you're bisexual." zoe pondered, tapping her lip. "who's the other?"

"er, your brother." evan said sheepishly. "but don't tell him."

"soooo, you're murphy-sexual?" jared asked, biting into his sandwich.

" _please_ , don't ever say that word again." zoe closed her eyes in frustration.

"sorry."

"promise me you guys aren't going to tell connor." he said again.

evan thought about what would happen if connor were to ever even find out. he'd probably be disgusted at the thought of someone like evan even for a second thinking that connor would like him that way. he'd probably be angry that evan only wanted to keep their friendship because he wanted to see connor.

connor would _hate_  him.

and evan could not risk that even for a second.

"whatever." jared said, looking as if he couldn't care less.

"alright." zoe said. "but you should still kiss him."

 

  
it was connor's birthday.

and evan still had nothing to give him.

god, he was a terrible friend.

he'd been searching for at least a week to find him something but still failed to do so.

evan wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear.

he was sulking in his bed when his phone emitted a ping sound.

he groaned and reached forward to grab it.

as he did he heard his doorbell ring.

finally, mom's here. he thought, grabbing his phone and heading towards the front door. he yawned and swung it open.

"mom, we're out of-" he started before noticing that the person in the doorway was not his mom.

in fact it was actually connor murphy.

and evan was half naked.

"oh dear." evan said.

guess i really don't have to have a heart attack for connor to see my chest, he thought.

connor, on the other hand, didn't seem like he cared. his eyes raked down evan's chest lazily before settling on looking at him straight in the eyes.

evan felt like connor could see his heart beating through his torso.

they stood there for a while, before connor pushed past evan and into his house.

"i'm hungry." he said, before making his way into the kitchen like he lived there.

he opened the fridge and looked around for a while before checking the freezer. "popsicles!" he exclaimed, digging into the freezer and grabbing a cherry one.

evan cleared his throat. "i'm going to get dressed, and brush my teeth."

"don't take long." connor answered, focusing on unwrapping his popsicle.

evan dashed to his room and threw on a shirt and shorts. he brushed his teeth as fast as he could.

he came back to the kitchen to find connor happily sucking on his popsicle.

connor winked at evan before bobbing his head so that it looked like he was deep throating the popsicle.

evan blushed. "stop." he said before grabbing himself an icecream sandwich, just to be safe.

"stop what?" connor asked, trying to sound innocent but failing.

evan ran his hand over his face exasperatedly. "so why are you here?" he asked.

connor removed the popsicle from his mouth and his face immidiately fell. "why, can i not visit my best friend?"

"oh, no, no, that's not what i meant at all. i was asking what you were doing here at this very specific time you know? not because i don't want you here, you're always welcome. i mean my house is your house, but not like literally you know? because your house is a lot better than mine and i doubt you'd want to live here if you could live ther-"

"evan."

"yes?"

"shut up."

"okay." evan answered, extremely happy that connor seemed to be joking about his previous question.

"anyways, it's my birthday. and my mom is making this huge dinner, y'know? and i really, really, don't want to help out with cooking so, i thought, what would my mom decide is a worthy excuse for not helping? and then i remembered how much she liked you and thought that if i said we had plans she'd be okay with that. and so, here i am."

"connor."

"yeah?"

"you could have just said that you wanted to spend time with me."

connor scrunched his nose in a way that made him look a lot cuter. "i mean, yeah, but that would sound like really gay."

"connor. you are gay."

"yeah, but still."

evan let out a little breath before running his hands through his hair. "breakfast?"

connor smiled. "as long as we get pancakes."

"who goes to ihop and doesn't get pancakes?" evan asked grabbing his house key and phone from the table.

"jared kleinman."

evan turned to look at him. "you go to ihop with jared kleinman?"

"is that jealousy i hear, hansen?"

"no."

yeah, it was.

connor laughed. "we used to go to ihop together. but that was a while ago, evan. you're my only ihop buddy now."

"good." evan said shutting the door, before realizing what slipped out of his mouth. "i-i meant to say 'nice'."

"i like jealous evan." connor decided, walking to the car.

 


	7. ihop, armadillos, and kissing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I only updated because I wanted to give you guys a kiss as fast as I could.
> 
> Anyways ! This chapter is sort of bad, bear with me.
> 
> Leave comments ! They make me cry

  
connor had a plan.

he was going to kiss evan.

today.

it wasn't like a sudden thought. connor had wanted to kiss evan for awhile. maybe he wasn't completely ready for a relationship, but with evan, connor felt like he was ready for anything.

he'd mentioned evan in a few of his counseling visits and mrs. dornfield thought that he was excellent.

which made connor happy because evan _was_ excellent.

he looked over at the boy who was fixing his seat belt.

 _why is it that evan literally looked attractive while doing everything?_ he thought, turning back to look at the road.

"so, what do you want to do after breakfast?" evan asked suddenly.

connor shrugged. "as long as it's not boring and you're there, i could care less."

he saw evan smiling from the corner of his eye.

connor started to rethink his choice.

what if that kiss ruined his friendship? what if evan got nervous and just ran away or something? what if evan was straight?

connor snorted at his last thought.

evan was far from straight.

as they reached their destination, connor turned the key and got out of the car.

he locked the car and walked over to the restaurant's front door and held it open for evan.

as soon as they came in, a waitress ran over and took them over to a booth.

the booth was sort of in the corner of the restaurant and was isolated from the other tables.

they sat down and grabbed menus.

"what kind of pancakes are you getting?" evan asked.

"probably chocolate. you?" connor replied, studying the picture of the pancakes.

evan shut his menu and set it down. "i'll get the same."

they talked until the waitress came over and took their orders and menus.

"so," evan said, trailing his fingers over the table. "eighteen."

"yep." connor said, his eyes following evan's fingers.

even his fucking fingers were pretty.

"legally an adult."

"yes."

evan tilted his head to the side. "what are you going to do with this newfound freedom?"

connor shrugged. "i have no idea. i mean, i've done it all."

by that he meant drugs, alcohol, and other practices that were illegal no matter what your age was.

evan nodded understandingly.

"maybe date older people." connor winked.

evan rolled his eyes, but blushed. "you know that the law prohibits you from having sexual activity with an older person, not going to the movies with them."

"that's what i meant by date, evan." connor answered.

evan blushed again and opened his mouth to say something when the waitress came back and dropped a plate in front of them. she turned around and went to get the other.

evan shoved the plate towards connor.

connor shoved it back. "ladies first." he chimed in a singsong voice.

evan snorted softly, sounding a lot like connor. "says the one with nail polish and princess hair."

connor smiled. "that sounded a lot like a compliment, hansen. you think my hair is princess-like?"

evan blushed and scratched his head. "i just meant-"

he was cut off by the waitress dropping the other plate in front of him. he immediately abandoned his sentence and began to cut into his pancake instead.

connor grabbed the syrup, poured some on his pancakes and began to eat.

evan, on the other hand, cut his dry pancake into perfect squares before putting an equal amount of syrup on each one.

all in all, it took him as long as ten minutes. by the time he was done preparing his food, connor had finished his pancakes.

he began to eat the squares one by one.

 _at this rate_ , connor thought, i won't have time to do anything with him.

"for fucks sake." connor said, before grabbing evan's fork and stabbing several squares with it.

he then proceeded to shove them in evan's mouth.

evan chewed and swallowed all while staring at connor with an odd expression. "i can feed myself, connor." he said.

"i know, but that takes ten years and we have plans." connor said, repeating the act of stabbing the pancakes and feeding evan.

"plans?" evan said, swallowing as fast as he could.

connor rolled his eyes. "yes, plans. it's my birthday, evan."

"i know. but i thought you said you didn't know what you wanted to do." he said, barely having time to finish his sentence before another forkful of pancakes was shoved in his mouth.

"i know what i said." he groaned, rather aggressively skewering the pancake. "but we planned to do something."

evan finished the pancakes that were in his mouth and grabbed connor's wrist gently, to stop him from giving him more.

connor tried to ignore the boy's warm fingers wrapped around his wrist and listened to him.

"what about the zoo? for my birthday my mom used to take me to the zoo." he suggested, before mumbling, "when she remembered," under his breath.

connor laughed and set down the fork. "the zoo? you're kidding right."

evan gave him a look that said he wasn't joking. "i mean, if you don't want to, that's completely fine. you don't have to go, in fact you don't have to go anywhere, you can just take me home and maybe pick me up for dinner or somethi-"

"fine." connor said, giving in to evan's sad face.

"what?"

"i said fine, now are you done with your pancakes?"

evan nodded before smiling.

 

 

 

a couple hours later evan and connor were at the zoo.

surprisingly evan loved the zoo, and asked to either hold or pet every animal they came in contact with. which was sort of cute and sort of gross.

at least in connor's opinion.

okay so maybe his opinion was biased because connor hated almost all animals.

now evan was trying to feed some sort of rat.

"he doesn't bite." one of the zookeepers had said, noticing connor's fear.

"come on, connor. hold him." evan was now saying, trying to move the horrid animal closer to him.

connor kept moving away and letting out little screeches (god, was he happy that zoe wasn't here). "evan stop. what the hell is that?"

"have you ever heard of an armadillo?"

connor's eyes widened. "that's a fucking _armadillo_?"

evan laughed and rubbed the animal's shell. "yes."

connor's face contorted into one full of disgust. "who knew they were so fucking ugly. jesus, evan put it down."

"not until you hold it." evan said, inching closer to him.

connor sighed in defeat. "do you promise it won't bite me?"

"i promise. and if it does we can sue the zoo."

the idea of suing someone made connor more comfortable.

he gingerly reached out to take the animal from evan's hands.

after about 30 seconds of holding it, he felt something warm and wet on his hand.

"evan. what. the. fuck."

evan began shaking with laughter and was close to crying.

"i forgot to mention, that he pees a lot." the zookeeper said, popping her gum.

connor shoved the animal into her hands and turned to face evan. "i am going to wash my hands, and then strangle you."

"your face." evan gasped, still laughing.

"shut up." connor hissed, making his way to the bathroom.


	8. connor's hair is actually as soft as it looks (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments !
> 
> I want to know what you guys think !!!

connor and evan showed up late.

very late.

and covered in dirt.

they took off their shoes and trudged into the kitchen to wash their hands.

as soon as they walked into the dining room, evan let out a stifled gasp.

mrs. murphy, mr. murphy, alana, zoe, and jared all looked up at them with expressions of irritation.

"there's the birthday boy and his boyfriend." jared said in an annoyed voice, his cone shaped birthday hat slipping off his head.

"late to your own birthday dinner. that's a new low, conny." said zoe, rolling her eyes.

evan felt responsible for them being late. it was him who suggested they go to the zoo and it was his fault they spent hours at the beach and it was him who asked to go see that new movie with connor.

he realized that connor essentially spent the entire day with evan.

god, he had hogged connor from his own family.

and the fact that he was going to go to the forest with connor after dinner made it worse.

"i'm so sorry, it was all my fault." evan said hurriedly, not wanting connor to get in trouble on his birthday.

"evan it's fine, we couldn't care less." mrs. murphy insisted, smiling at him.

he felt relief flood through his body and he sat down at the end of the table, in between an empty seat and jared.

he assumed that connor was going to sit at the foot of the table, since you know it was his birthday.

but instead he went around the table and sat down by evan without speaking a word.

"can we eat now?" he said after a moment of silence.

there was hesitation and then everyone began filling their plates and asking for dishes to be passed over.

when they were done getting their food, they began to eat.

"so what'd you do today, connor?" his mom asked with a smile on her face.

"stuff." he answered, before gesturing to evan to pass him a biscuit.

"elaborate, con." his dad said in his deep voice.

connor sighed. "we went to ihop, the zoo, the movies, and the beach." he said reluctantly.

"that's like four dates rolled up into one." jared said in shock.

zoe shoved alana's shoulder. "that could be us."

alana shoved her back.

"that sounds very nice." mrs. murphy replied ignoring the rest of the teens.

"and very gay." jared added.

"shut up, kleinman." connor said, focused on his biscuit.

jared raised his hands in a surrending postion.

alana changed the subject and they talked for a while. when all the food was almost done and they had talked for a while, connor's mom went into the kitchen and came back out with a huge cake.

" _mom_." connor said, looking like he seemed embarrassed.

"happy birthday to youuu!" everyone began to sing, much to connor's dismay.

evan watched connor's cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he frowned.

evan could tell that secretly, connor was actually pleased.

a half hour later, when everyone was full of cake, the presents had been opened, and alana and jared were about to go home, evan pulled connor aside.

he saw zoe and jared send him a wink and a thumbs up before they ran away.

"hey, uhm, you want to go down to the forest? i mean it's too late to watch the sunset but we can, er, talk?" evan asked.

he was surprised at himself.

evan had gone from an anxiety ridden teen with two friends, to...

a less anxiety ridden teen with four friends?

when he said it like that it didn't really make sense, but evan felt like something inside him had sort of changed.

not in general of course, just with connor.

it's like it takes a certain amount of time for his anxiety to be sort of toned down around someone and for him to feel comfortable and not plagued with dumb thoughts while around them all the time.

he felt like that was happening with connor.

"i'd like that." connor replied, studying evan's face as if wondering if he were okay.

**connor**

this was connor's chance.

it's not like he was going to not have any other opportunities to do it, but he felt it to be important that his first kiss (and he wished it would be the start of many more) happened on a significant day.

well sort of significant.

today marked the eighteenth year of connor's miserable life.

two hundred and sixteen months of the world making him feel like complete shit.

about 9,460,800 minutes.

most of which he spent hating himself.

he still hated himself, obviously.

but since he met evan he felt like his hate for himself had dimmed and dimmed until it was nothing but a small feeling of dislike.

so, yeah connor hated the world and almost everything in it.

but when he was around evan?

he started to enjoy and appreciate it.

maybe it was little by little, a bit each day, but connor was getting there.

and that's all that really matters, right?

they walked towards the tallest tree in silence. connor had no idea why evan asked him to go to the forest with him, but he was glad he did since connor was going to do it anyway.

 _maybe he wants to give me my present somewhere private?_ he thought, pushing his hair back as he navigated through the low branches.

as they reached the tree, connor noticed evan scratching his neck absentmindedly.

he's seen evan do that a lot.

it usually meant that he was nervous.

evan scratched his neck. "do you, uhm, want to go up?" he said gesturing to the top of the tree.

connor felt his heart pound.

he was going to do it _now_.

he moved a bit closer to the shorter boy and took a deep breath. "no."

"why?" evan asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

"because." connor said, inching even closer.

now his heart was hammering and he felt like it would burst out of his chest any moment.

"because...?" evan asked softly.

soft.

everything evan did was soft.

the way he talked, the way he smiled. hell, even the way he looked was just soft.

"-because, then it'd be a little bit hard to do this."

**evan**

"-because, then it'd be a little bit hard to do this." connor said before he closed the space between them.

evan never swore but, _fuck_.

connor murphy was kissing him.

**connor**

connor quickly realized that evan wasn't kissing back.

he just stood there, completely rigid.

connor was about to pull away before he suddenly felt both of evan's hands on either side of his face.

and then evan was kissing him.

**evan**

connor pulled evan closer and evan frantically ran his hands through connor's hair.

oh, how he had wanted to do that for so long.

his fingers curled at the nape of connor's neck as he focused on moving his lips against connor's.

he pulled away for a second to breathe and replay what the hell had just happened but before he knew it connor's lips were back on his.

evan didn't mind at all.

**connor**

connor took back what he said, not _everything_  evan did was soft.

for example, kissing connor.

when evan kissed him, he didn't hold anything back, his lips moved against connor's with a neediness and desperation that he had never seen.

it was as if he believed that connor was just going to disappear.

connor kissed him back just as hard, trying to reassure him that he wasn't.

**evan**

evan wasn't sure when they stopped kissing, he wasn't sure when they quietly went back into the car, he wasn't sure when connor had pulled up in front of his house and unlocked the door for him.

all he remembered was them kissing and everything being perfect, to him being alone in his room, staring at the dark ceiling replaying the moment over and over in his head.

evan had absolutely no idea how things were going to be tomorrow.

he just prayed that it wasn't a dream.

 


	9. tattoos, the mall, and jared kleinman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was waiting until I reached fifty comments to upload but oh well. anyways please comment, I love comments they make me happy.
> 
> enjoy!

evan and connor's texting habits had gone from normal conversations to something along the lines of sexual innuendos (connor) and weird questions (more connor).

not that evan minded.

after connor's birthday, evan and connor had acted like nothing happened. they interacted as if they hadn't been on the verge of having sex a couple days ago.

now they were talking about jared, even though evan felt like a bad person for 'gossiping' about him to connor who probably hated his guts - and _oh my god, that was all my fault_ , evan thought face-palming.

_**connor** : hes an ass but he apologized_

_**evan** : hj dsd??_

_**connor** : english, please idk if you're saying hi dad or he did_

evan had a bad habit of making really bad typos when he was nervous.

_**evan** : sorry. he did???_

_**connor** : enough punctuation hansen_

_**evan** : connor, answer._

_**connor** : yes he did  & he told me why he was jealous_

_**evan** : he was jealous???_

evan was confused.

what was there to be jealous of? did jared know what had happened with connor?

evan never took jared as the jealous type.

he was more of a decent asshole with okay morals.

_**connor** : yeah_

_**evan** : of what?_

_**connor** : us_

'us'.

what in the world did that mean?

evan didn't want to ask and instead went into the kitchen to make breakfast, when he came back to his room with a bowl of cereal he looked at his phone. he quickly noticed someone aside from connor had texted him. he ignored it and opened connor's message.

_**connor** : i meant our friendship_

_**connor** : he was jealous of our friendship_

evan let out a breath of relief before sending a message that said "okay."

he opened the other text, which was from 'big ugly'. evan checked the number and quickly realized it was jared.

then he remembered connor going through his contact list.

 _oh connor_ , he thought sighing out loud.

_**big ugly :** are you and the druggie dating **?**_

_**evan :** don't call him that **.**_

_**big ugly** : fine. are you?_

normally evan would swear up and down on his mom that he wasn't but he was getting sort of irritated.

 _ **evan** : why do you care_? |

he erased the message.

too harsh.

_**evan** : why does it matter and who told you we were?_

_**big ugly** : just answer and connor did._

evan dropped his phone in shock on his bed, barely missing the bowl of cereal.

connor had said that?

but why?

evan was sure it was some sort of joke, surely connor didn't like evan like that.

they were close, but not that way.

that kiss was a mistake, right? connor didn't mean anything by it, and evan didn't either.

besides, evan was straight.

he thinks.

_i mean if you don't know what you are, by default you're straight right?_

his phone made a sound and he gingerly lifted it.

_**connor** : im coming over get dressed_

evan panicked.

it was a saturday and saturdays meant cartoons and cereal, not connor murphy and his weird date-like hanging out ideas.

he got dressed nonetheless and finished his froot loops.

just as he was putting his dish in the sink he heard his doorbell being rung.

he ran a hand through his hair and fixed his shirt before opening up the front door to a smiling connor murphy.

normally, evan would just lock the door and go to connor's car fastly in order to not waste his time but evan couldn't seem to move because here was connor murphy with his beautiful, brown locks in a _bun_.

it was absolutely ethereal.

the bun itself was cute and messy but he had a few strands framing his face and a couple more tucked behind his adorable elvish ears that made evan stand there and stare for a little while.

okay so maybe it was more than a little while.

it was enough to get connor to snap at evan at least.

"earth to evan." connor said, still snapping.

"yeah, sorry. uh, let's go?" evan quickly replied, scratching his neck awkwardly.

connor shrugged and he and evan began walking towards his car.

"don't forget to lock the door, you never forget to lock the door." he said, giving evan a weird look.

evan face palmed and apologized before jogging back to his front door and locking it.

when he reached the car connor gave him another weird look.

"you okay evan? you forget to lock your door and then one of your shoelaces aren't double knotted and one of your buttons aren't buttoned." connor mumbled glancing at evan.

evan felt something weird stir in his chest.

how in the world had connor noticed his shoelace or his button?

"yeah, i'm fine. just really tired." evan answered, still confused as to why the murphy boy was so concerned. besides, the main reason he was so out of it was the fact that not three days ago he was making out with connor and running his hands through his hair.

"you know you could just go back to sleep, you don't have to come with me." connor said, his eyebrows furrowing.

evan shrugged. "it's okay, i couldn't sleep."

"you sure?" he inquired.

"positive." evan replied, smiling at him.

connor started the car and they drove off.

 

 

 

 

"we're going to pick up _jared kleinman_?" evan asked in complete confusion.

"yes." connor answered pulling up to a long apartment complex evan knew too well.

"i thought you hated him." evan said.

connor shrugged. "i sort of do."

evan scratched his neck, as he does when he's confused or nervous. "this doesn't add up."

connor sighed. "i was bored, he was bored, and then we decided we should go to the mall."

"why bring me then?"

"becauseeee, we knew the only way to maintain some sort of peace was to bring you."

evan laughed and watched as jared burst through the doors of the apartment and jogged towards the car.

"wow murphy. you're an asshole but once again your hair is making me think gay things." he chimed, climbing into the backseat.

jared had a weird way of speaking evan's thoughts.

"thanks kleinman." connor snorted.

"hiya evan." jared said, as if he had just noticed him.

"hey jar."

the car ride was far from boring.

they talked for a while and then jared reached over to turn on the radio.

of course he switched it to the basic pop station that replayed the same songs every ten minutes.

they listened to endless amounts of kesha, beyoncé, and lady gaga.

surprisingly connor loved beyoncé and knew every lyric to the songs that played.

evan watched his two friends scream along to 'single ladies' for the fifth time before they finally reached the mall.

"hey, you guys want to get a tattoo?" connor said out of nowhere, as they passed the tattoo parlor by their workplace.

"hell no." jared scoffed, turning to evan. "and do you even have to ask hansen."

connor shrugged. "i want one."

"is this like an impulse thing? because you might regret it and tattoos aren't something that just go away." evan said, scratching his neck.

connor rolled his eyes. "once again, hansen. you're not my mom. besides it'll be a small one. maybe somewhere people won't see."

jared winked and this time both connor and evan rolled their eyes.

they approached the parlor and were going to go in before connor stopped jared and evan. "you guys get lunch or something, it might take a while."

"okay, text us when you're done getting a needle repeatedly stabbed into your skin." jared said, tugging evan's sleeve out of the store.

evan waved at connor and followed jared.

 

  
an hour later, after a couple burgers, milkshakes and fries they noticed a hoodie clad figure walking towards them.

or sort of hobbling.

connor looked like he was in pain.

he approached their table and sat down gently.

"did you get your dick tattooed or something?" jared asked, looking up from his strawberry shake.

"nah, my hip." connor answered before swiping one of evan's fries.

"you should probably go home and like ice it." evan said.

"you should probably give me half of your burger." connor replied, reaching for evan's sandwich.

evan sighed and handed it to him.

"so you going to show us, or like not." jared asked looking excited.

connor suddenly froze up. "it's sort of dumb, really."

evan was growing curious.

"just let me see, i'll be the judge of that." jared insisted.

connor was turning a light shade of pink. "no really, kleinman. it's boring."

jared sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. "whatever. after you and evan have sex, evan'll tell me."

now evan was blushing. "stop jared."

"never." he replied, grabbing one of evan's fries.

"will you two quit eating my food." evan said angrily.

"never." connor echoed.

 


	10. kissing, sex, and lonely jared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys !
> 
> comment more ! 
> 
> also this was very very rushed.

"so are we going to talk about it?"

  
connor murphy had had enough.

evan was acting like nothing happened.

they had _kissed_ and he was pretending as if things were completely normal.

the morning after his birthday, connor had spent two hours planning his conversation with evan about the kiss. when he went by evan's house later on that day, evan had gotten in his car and began talking about some new flavor of poptarts and a movie he watched.

connor was confused but played along.

but now it was getting old and connor couldn't really take it anymore.

 

"talk about what?" evan asked, looking like he was panicking.

connor had deliberately asked to take evan to school to ask him for a clarification on where their relationship stood.

"the k-i-s-s." connor spelled out the word so that evan didn't freak out even more.

evan fidgeted with his backpack that rested on his lap. "you mean my birthday present?"

connor laughed. "birthday present?"

"it was a dare." evan shrugged, seeming to try and act like it was insignificant.

"evan, if you don't quit lying i am going to pull this car over and we're going to have a full conversation about the kiss." connor stated, completely serious.

"please don't."

"then tell me what happened."

evan crossed his arms over his chest. "you're acting like i was the only one there." he mumbled under his breath.

connor pulled over into the nearest convenience store's parking lot. "enough sass, hansen."

evan sighed. " _fine_."

"why'd you want to go there?" connor asked.

evan mumbled something incoherently.

"what was that?"

"i said, i was going to kiss you. why don't you tell me why you kissed me?" evan replied, glaring at him.

connor shrugged. "i was horny."

"no, seriously."

"seriously? i just wanted to kiss you, evan." connor confessed, watching evan's facial features soften.

"why?"

"why, what?"

"why would you want to kiss _me_?" evan asked the question as if he truly didn't understand.

connor's heart broke.

here was the sweetest, prettiest, most innocent boy on the planet and he struggled to understand why someone like connor murphy would want him.

he should be trying to understand why he would ever even consider kissing connor back.

connor leaned over his seat and cupped evan's cheeks. "because i like you, evan. i like you a whole lot more than i should."

"are you sure?"

connor laughed. "that's a dumb question."

evan pulled away with a huffing sound and in an instant their moment was ruined.

"i was only joking!" connor exclaimed, wanting to feel evan's face again.

"too late, take me to school connor." evan answered.

"i'll think about it." connor said, lying back in his seat.

"you'll think about it? connor, what the heck."

connor laughed at his word use. "say 'fuck' once, please."

"no."

"please?"

"if you take me to school."

"in about a week you'll be voluntarily screaming it to me, so i could care less about getting you to school." connor said, sitting back in his seat.

" _connor_."

"how about this, you kiss me again, and i'll take you to school." connor bargained.

"absolutely not." evan said.

"and why's that?"

"because maybe under different circumstances i'd kiss you again, but not when you're blackmailing me."

"you using long words is really turning me on."

"stop, connor." evan said, his cheeks turning pink.

"i'll take you to school but then right afterwards me and you are going to talk about it." connor replied, beginning to drive put of the parking lot and towards their school.

"oh no."

 

  
"okay but hypothetically speaking, if connor and evan were to be in a relationship, who would be the top?" asked alana, checking to see if the lily seeds needed restocking.

she was working today and jared and zoe had decided to keep her company.

jared scoffed and stopped typing on his computer for a second to look up at alana. "are you joking? obviously evan."

zoe set her coffee down angrily. "no fucking _way,_  kleinman. evan's like a small timid baby, it's going to be connor."

alana tapped her red painted lip, studying the shelves to see if they were in the right order. "what if they like, switched, like those kinds of couples?"

"no! i'm telling you, connor is more feminine." jared insisted, shutting his laptop.

"yes because painting your nails and putting your hair in a ponytail demonstrates what position you like to be in during sex." zoe said rolling her eyes.

"listen, i know evan."

"and i know connor."

"okay but like, they can be one of those switching couples, guys. no need to fight, jesus." alana said, going towards them and shoving each one back into their seats.

"how about we just ask?" zoe said, narrowing her eyes at jared.

"fine with me." jared replied, raising his hands.

zoe took out her phone and went through her contact list before pressing on someone named "rat". she set it on speaker and they waited for connor to pick up.

"yes?" he answered, sounding rather annoyed.

"hello dear brother, we have a very important question that only you or evan can answer."

"both of us are sort of busy at the moment." connor replied.

zoe and jared gave each other a look and alana held back a laugh.

"when you guys have sex who tops and who bottoms?" zoe asked.

they heard a coughing sound and then a weird scream from the background and then a voice that sounded a lot like evan's.

"i'd top, obviously." connor said, emitting more yelling from evan. "got to go." connor said before ending the call.

"and there you have it." zoe laughed.

jared rolled his eyes. "whatever."

"you upset it's not you in bed with evan?" alana said, pouting her lips.

"shut _up._ " jared said, opening his laptop again.

zoe laughed as jared began to explain how he was over evan and it was just a little crush.

"besides that was like freshman year." he huffed. "i am a senior now, in case you haven't noticed."

"and evan's gotten a lot hotter, in case _you_ haven't noticed." alana chimed.

"and how would you have noticed? you're a lesbian."

"just because i like girls, doesn't mean i can't see."

"oh, go make out with you girlfriend or something." jared huffed, furiously typing away at his laptop.

"will do." alana said, winking at zoe.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to comment lovelies.


	11. connor is an asshole (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this went from like fluffy to like depressed. also disclaimer, i did not proof read this. 
> 
> don't forget to comment, comments make me cry in happiness.

  
evan hansen found connor very attractive.

well more attractive than he thought him to be two weeks ago.

he didn't know what really rendered this change.

just that after seeing connor in a different light he may or may not have been infatuated with every movement of his.

truth is, evan was sort of falling in love.

not that he'd ever admit that out loud.

love freaked him out.

he never really used the word. saved it for special occasions when it means something.

only person who has ever received and 'i love you' from him is his mom and jared.

and that's because he's known both since birth.

he just thought that love was messy.

like emotionally.

and if anyone hasn't already noticed, evan's emotions were always a mess.

regardless of what connor says.

which brings him to now, him standing in line at subway whispering what he wants to connor so he doesn't have to go through the horror that is ordering his own food.

after connor ordered the four sandwiches (jared and zoe were meeting up with them) and the guy gave him the weirdest look, he grabbed four cups and handed two to evan. "can you get zoe's drink?"

"yeah, sure, what does she like to drink?" evan asked.

"just like go down the line and get some of everything into her cup." connor waved at the assortment of soda flavors.

evan shook his head softly and walked over to the beverage dispenser.

he watched connor try to balance four sandwiches in his arms and ended up cradling them like they were children.

connor looked especially nice today, with a gray hoodie and his everyday skinny jeans. his hair was in a small ponytail and his nails were freshly painted and for the first time, weren't completely chipped. he had smiled a grand total of four times since picking up evan this morning and each time evan's stomach fluttered in the weirdest way.

he put a cap on each of the drinks and grabbed two straws before heading to the table where connor had sat.

he slid into the booth seat across from him and connor handed him his sandwich.

"thanks." evan said before unwrapping it. "so when are zoe and jared coming?"

"they're not." connor said, not bothering to look up at him and instead opening his sandwich and adding extra mayo.

"wait, what?"

"they're not coming. i just told you that so you'd go on a date with me." he bit into his sandwich.

"connor, that's called lying and it's bad."

"not when it's for a good reason, right?" he said looking up at evan, with food still in his mouth.

evan sighed and took another bite of his sandwich. "you know you could have just said you wanted to hang out."

"but i don't want to hang out, i want to go on a date with you."

evan felt his heart pound and his cheeks redden. he didn't have anything to say so he just ate his sandwich.

"you do know that that kiss wasn't a mistake."

"i know."

"so are you telling me you didn't feel anything when you kissed me back?"

evan almost choked on his food at the accusation. he set his sandwich down. "woah, i never said anything like that at all connor."

connor sighed and ran his hands through his hair, untangling his pony and sliding it down his wrist. "you're right. sorry."

evan raised an eyebrow.

something seemed off about connor.

"are you okay?"

"aside from the fact that i've barely gotten sleep over the past week, yeah just dandy." connor replied, taking a sip of his soda.

oh no.

this was all evan's fault, wasn't it?

connor was going to die because of lack of sleep and evan's going to have to attend his funeral, knowing that it was his fault and see everyone who loves connor sad.

"you should sleep." evan said, not really knowing what to say.

"you think, sherlock?" connor snorted.

"i'm _trying_  to help." evan said defensively.

"how are you going to help when you're the problem, hansen."

evan felt his heart drop and his eyes begin to fill with hot tears.

_don't cry, don't freaking cry._

he stared at connor for a moment before picking up his half eaten sandwich, standing up and throwing it away.

he heard connor say something as he turned around and stormed out of the restaurant.

 _boy am i stupid_ , he thought, picking at his sleeve as he walked down the sidewalk.

he had ran away from his only ride.

he pulled out his phone and quickly dialed jared.

"is this where you call me to confess your love and how much you hate connor." he answered, picking up before the first ring.

"jared."

"oh shit, you sound sad. where are you?" his tone immidiately went from joking to a serious and concerned one.

"outside that bookstore on main. could you pick me up?" evan said, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"be there in five."

"thank you." evan shoved the phone into his pocket and scratched his neck as he tried to look normal to the people walking past him.

he stood there, thinking about everything he'd done to lead up to connor saying what he said, until he saw jared's old red car pull up in front of the store.

he climbed in the front seat and shut the door before turning to look at jared. "take me home, please."

"where's connor?"

"don't know, don't care. just take me home."

jared raised his hands in a surrending notion and began to drive away.

 

 

 


	12. evan has abs, sort of (confirmed by connor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave c o m m e n t s. 
> 
> i like to know what you guys are thinking !!!
> 
> also I love it when you guys talk about one particular part and how you guys felt and im like mE TOO.
> 
> anyways, I love you guys.

  
connor knew he had fucked up.

like majorly.

and for the next couple of days everyone didn't fail to remind him so.

first was jared.

he had called him twenty minutes after the whole incident, while connor was still sitting at subway staring at the seat where evan had been sitting, and screamed at him for fifteen minutes while asking what he did to evan.

connor listened to him yell before ending the phone call.

he deserved it, after all.

then came zoe.

she came home that night and slammed her bag on the kitchen table where he sat. "you want to tell me why evan was crying today?"

connor ran his hands over his face.

_i made evan cry._

"jesus, why do you care?"

"because he's my friend, and unlike some people i know, i am a good fucking friend." she hissed angrily.

connor sighed. "i may or may not have accidently told him that he was a problem."

"what the hell does that even mean?"

"it just sort of slipped, i didn't even mean it that way either. i meant that he sort of distracted me, like in a good way." connor tried to explain, full aware of the fact that he was making no sense.

"anyways, he's depressed. apologize, asshole." she said, seeming to have calmed down.

he nodded and went back to sitting quietly at the table.

a few days passed, and connor had sent evan a total of twenty four text messages with no reply. he also left a bunch of voicemails of him apologizing, over and over. he visited his locker three times throughout the school day, in hopes of finding of evan, but so far no luck.

he always tries to ask jared if evan's come to school but jared just glares and walks away from him.

same with alana, who connor learns is very close to evan. she nearly jumped him when he came to work and connor had had to learn how to dodge flowerpots just in case the girl was still irritated.

connor was running out of ideas, and was now down to only two.

a) stand outside evan's house with a boom box and declare his love with a terrible, original song

or

b) write evan a love/apology letter

he thought about it for a while, until deciding that option b would be less embarrassing and less work.

he set to work, and he quickly realized that writing love letters was fucking hard.

he had run out of the nice, lacy paper he stole from his mom and was down to one more piece of parchment. he took out a normal piece of paper to practice on.

he put his hair in a ponytail and took a swig of his mountain dew before trying again.

~~**dear evan hansen,** ~~

~~**i'm pretty sure letters are supposed to have a format? but i can't remember because i haven't written a letter since like third grade** ~~

he crossed it out. he was beginning to sound like evan.

connor suddenly felt a pang in his chest.

he _really_ missed evan.

connor sat up straighter in his seat and took another drink of mountain dew.

"maybe you'll get him back if you do a good fucking job." he said to himself before picking up the pen and starting on the back.

~~**dear evan hansen,** ~~

~~**you're pretty fucking rad and i really like you and your face is adorable and i want to be your boyfriend** ~~

_too desperate_ , he thought sighing aloud.

~~**dear evan hansen,** ~~

~~**stop ignoring me you ass.** ~~

_too rude_.

besides, connor was the ass, not evan.

he crumpled the practice sheet and tossed it into the trash can behind him. he grabbed the lacy paper and started for the last time. he wasn't going to cross anything out, whatever he says, he says.

**dear evan hansen,**

**i suck at these kind of things but i have a few things to say and i am going to say them now before i wuss out.**

**1) i am really really sorry. nothing is your fault. you're nowhere near being the problem. i was being a crabby piece of shit and that does not excuse what i said at all.**

**2) i really, really miss you.**

**3) i really, really like you.**

**4) please go on a date with me.**

**sincerely, me**

  
connor had definitely failed.

he didn't care though, as long as he got the main idea across he could care less about how it was worded.

he put the letter in it's matching beige envelope before licking the sticky part and shutting it. he stuck his pen behind his ear and raced downstairs to the living room.

"mom!" he shouted, finding his mom in the living room watching a movie and crying.

"yes, dear?" she said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve to pretend she wasn't sobbing.

"are you supposed to put a letter in that weird mail square thing at the end of the street or should i just put the letter in his mailbox?" he asked, tossing her the box of tissues on the counter behind him.

"take it to his mailbox, postal route takes a week." she advised, catching the box and grabbing a tissue.

"thanks." he said, grabbing his shoes and keys before heading out to his car, ignoring his mom's sniffles.

upon arriving at evan's house he braced himself for what he was going to do.

he prayed that evan wasn't actually home and ran across the street to the front door.

evan didn't have an actual mailbox, and instead the front door had one of those built in mailboxes with the weird flap.

he had to crouch down to slip it in when suddenly the door swung open and someone was standing over him.

he looked up to see a woman who looked a hell of a lot like evan at the door.

he immediately jumped up and smoothed out his shirt. "hello, mrs. hansen?"

"heidi." she smiled at him.

heidi was pretty. she looked a fuck ton like evan. only prominent difference was that her blond hair was lighter than evan's and she looked very stressed.

"you must be connor? come in." she asked, not giving him a chance to answer.

he scratched his neck as he came in, trying to think of an excuse as to why he was kneeling outside her door with a lacy envelope in hand.

he suddenly heard footsteps and then a voice. "mom, do we have any mil-"

evan walked into the living room in sweatpants and no shirt. "connor?" he said in confusion.

 _fuck_ , connor thought, staring at evan's torso while simultaneously shoving the letter into his coat pocket


	13. connor's chest is warm (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was very, very rushed.
> 
> also angry evan is hard to write so i gave up and now this is fluff.
> 
> aND poor jared :(
> 
> don't worry guys I'll do him justice, I think.
> 
> ALSO THE LAST COMMENTS ON MY LAST UPDATE MADE ME CRY THANK YOU GUYS I LOVE ALL OF YOU. COMMENT MORE.

  
evan had no idea why he roamed his house half naked.

maybe it was because the only person aside from himself that actually came inside the house was his mom.

after this being the second time connor's seen evan's chest, he was starting to regret his decision.

his initial shock at seeing connor in his house, talking to his mom kind of made him forget he was missing a shirt. "connor?"

connor looked up at him with a weird expression on his face.

he looked like he was panicking.

which was far from the connor murphy evan knew.

"hey, evan." he said, sounding like he was trying to compose himself.

he shoved something into his pocket and gave evan an awkward smile.

evan's mom smiled at him and gestured to the couch. "sit down, would you like anything to drink? juice, pop, milk?" she asked, seemingly happy that evan had an actual friend.

"water's fine." he mumbled, still staring at evan.

it wasn't until evan followed connor's eyes down to his chest that he noticed what he was staring at.

he felt his face turn red as he muttered an "excuse me", and ran to his room to grab a t-shirt.

he slipped it on and mentally chastised himself for being dumb.

he went back to the living room to find his mom sitting across from connor, who was sipping on a glass of water.

evan scratched his neck nervously before his mom pointed at the seat on the couch by connor.

 _oh_ _no_ , he thought.

he sat down by connor anyways, who eyed him as he shifted in his seat.

"so," his mom said, her lips curling into a smile as she looked at the both of them, "how long have you two been dating?"

connor choked on his water and evan nearly fell out of his seat.

"no, mom-"

"heidi, we're not-"

they both started at the same time, much to her confusion. after they both shut up, connor cleared his throat awkwardly.

"i mean i'd like to."

this time evan choked.

on air.

" _connor_." he said sternly, feeling his cheeks go pink.

"how cute." his mom cooed, setting her coffee on the table.

"evan's just adorable, isn't he?" connor beamed looking at evan.

evan gave connor a look that he hoped conveyed the message that he was still mad at him.

"so, tell me about yourself." heidi said, taking another sip of her coffee.

evan's mom's diet consisted of coffee and energy drinks.

"well, i like reading, school, flowers and taking your son out on nice dates." connor replied, sounding like a whole other person.

evan gaped at the boy in shock as his mom nodded her head happily. connor caught his eye and winked at him.

"you sound like a nice boy." she said.

"thank you."  
  
heidi looked like she was about to ask more questions when they heard something beep. she looked down at her watch and sighed.

"i have to go to work, sorry guys. it was nice meeting you!" she said quickly, grabbing her coat and bag before kissing evan's forehead and waving at connor.

she raced out the door and shut it behind her.

as soon as she left connor turned to look at evan. "so. just me and you. in a house. alone."

evan stood up and rolled his eyes at connor. "i'm still upset at you, connor."

"i apologized like twenty times, evan! what's there left for me to do!"

"i don't know, maybe wait for me to accept your apology!"

connor jumped up and wrung his hands in front of him exasperatedly. "what if i _can't_ wait? what if you decide that you don't forgive me?" 

evan scratched his neck. "i don't know."

connor was standing very close to evan and if everything evan's seen in tv shows and movies is true, connor is going to angrily kiss him and that's going to lead to hot, passionate sex.

evan didn't really think he was ready for that.

a moment passed before connor cleared his throat and looked down. "did you get my voicemails?"

so much for passionate sex.

"yes. my favorite one was you drunkenly rambling about how nice my fingers are."

connor laughed breathily. "yeah, that was bad."

"or the one where you were crying. i saved and downloaded it. i think i might make it my ringtone." evan chided.

connor froze and looked up at evan menacingly. "you did _not_."

"did too." evan grinned, happy that connor was back to himself.

"i hate you." connor huffed, throwing himself back onto the couch.

"that's not what your sixth voicemail saiddd." evan said in a sing-song voice, sitting beside him and grabbing the remote.

"i was drunk and emotional, okay."

"oh, imagine how hard that must've been. sorry i couldn't help you cope, i was too busy wondering what i did wrong." he said, turning on the tv.

"i said i was sorry!"

"tell that to my broken heart."

"you're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

"never."

 

 

 

  
evan woke up with his head pressed against connor murphy's chest.

he had no idea how they had gone from bantering and watching a black and white movie to them sleeping in a very awkward position.

connor's hand was over his arm and chest, holding evan close to him.

evan felt his face get warm and his heart beat faster as he slowly slunk away from connor and onto the floor.

he let out a breath he was holding and jumped up.

grabbing his phone, he headed to the kitchen.

he had six texts from jared and three missed calls.

he sighed and set it on the counter, not bothering to look at the messages.

he grabbed the eggs from the fridge and took a bowl and whisk from the cupboard.

he set to making himself and connor omelets.

after he put the omelets on their plates and put the toast in the toaster, he turned around to be met by a smiling connor.

his hand flew up to his chest and he let out a strangled breath. "you scared me."

"i love you." connor said lazily.

evan's heart skipped a beat and he felt his stomach flutter.

"i mean, i love your omelets. they look great, did you put any cheese in them? i like cheese in my omelets. what about you?" connor rambled snatching a plate from the counter and grabbing his slice of toast.

evan felt himself relax and he nodded at connor before grabbing his own food. "apple or orange juice?"

"do you have any soda?" connor asked sitting down at the kitchen table.

"soda for breakfast isn't healthy for you." evan said getting him apple juice.

"your hair being ruffled like that also isn't healthy for me." connor stated, cutting into his omelet.

"stop."

"only when you stop being such husband material."

"what does that even mean?"

"pretend i never said anything."

"will do." evan replied, taking a sip of his apple juice.


	14. evan smells good (confirmed by connor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire chapter was like put together in the span of like an hour.
> 
> comment guys ! i love all comments (especially the long ones)!!!

  
"evan!" connor shouted, watching as the boy struggled to unlock his locker from across the hallway.

he looked up in confusion upon hearing his name.

evan searched for the source before his eyes landed on connor and he smiled.

connor smiled back and jogged to his locker.

"hi." he said, studying evan. evan was wearing a striped blue shirt and khakis, like he normally does, but connor was still staring.

"hello." evan replied, still smiling.

connor adjusted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder and cleared his throat. "i have a question."

"yes?"

_this was a terrible fucking idea, i'm going to sound needy and he's going to hate me and think i'm dumb and wow i can't believe i actually thought i could do this because i obviously can't-_

"well, what is it, connor? we have to get to class, you kno-"

"can i have a hug?" connor mumbled.

"what?"

"could you maybe give me a hug?" he said a bit louder and faster.

"err, maybe say that a little more clearl-"

"can you give me a fucking hug." connor exclaimed, causing evan to have a startled look on his face.

"wow, can you say relationship goals." jared laughed, walking over and slinging an arm over evan's shoulder.

connor rolled his eyes, ignoring the weird feeling in his chest as soon as jared's arm touched evan. "oh shut up, kleinman."

"yes." evan said, scratching his neck and blushing.

"hold on, let me record this." jared said, legitimately taking out his phone and beginning to film them.

connor shoved him away and wrapped his arms around evan. evan stood there rigidly for a second, and connor was reminded of their kiss, but then he finally hugged him back.

evan was warm.

and he smelt really, really good.

the hug must've lasted a while because jared cleared his throat loudly just as the bell rang.

evan pulled away and grabbed his books before shutting his locker. "bye connor." he said before gesturing to jared to hurry up.

connor watched as they ran to first period, a class they shared.

he stood there for a while, wondering if attending his first class was really important. deeming it unnecessary, he threw on his hood and made his way to his car.

 

 

"does she miss me or something? i just don't know why it's necessary." connor protested, snatching an apple off the table.

"it's a follow-up, connor. mrs.dornfield just needs to see how you're doing." his mom insisted.

"she's nosy."

"she's a therapist."

"she always asks personal questions, like 'how's your day going'. it makes me uncomfortable, mom!"

"she said you could bring someone along!"

connor's head immidiately looked up at her. "wait, really?"

his mom sighed. "yes."

connor grinned. "i'm bringing evan."

"i know." she answered, the corner of her mouth turning up into a smile.

"when's the appointment?" he asked, biting into the apple.

"tomorrow at one."

"great." he looked down at his phone, checking the time. "i gotta go pick up evan and zoe."

"no more skipping." his mom called as he kissed her cheek and ran out the door.

arriving at the school, he looked around for his sister and evan.

he spotted evan who was standing by alana, zoe and jared.

he watched as jared seemingly cracked a joke and everyone laughed.

 _evan has the cutest laugh_ , connor thought watching him.

his nose scrunched just a little bit and he usually tossed his head back and sometimes his hands even flew up to his chest like some cartoon character who was running out of breath.

_wow, am i in love._

his thoughts were interupted when he heard a knocking on the window.

"open up, ugly." yelled zoe.

he sighed and unlocked the doors for everyone (including jared and alana) to pile in.

jared tried to sit in the front seat but connor gave him a look. jared rolled his eyes and moved to the back.

after the unholy trinity had sat in the back, leaving no room for evan, he opened the front door and sat shotgun.

he smiled at connor and pulled on his seatbelt.

"so, what are we doing again?" connor asked.

"christmas shopping, you diphead." zoe said rolling her eyes. "i've already sorted us into groups."

everyone in the car groaned.

"why can't we all just shop together?"

"because, then everyone knows what everyone got for everyone and then everything isn't a surprise anymore." she answered angrily. "okay so, one person has to be alone and i've decided that that should be me. and then it's jared and alana, and connor and evan."

"what about your present for the person you're shopping with?" alana asked.

"aw. she's thinking about my present already." jared cooed.

"shut up, kleinman."

"we're gonna pair up again later."

the rest of the ride was filled with stupid questions and flavorful insults.

as soon as they reached the mall, everyone jumped out of the car as fast as they could and went over to their partner.

evan walked towards the entrance of the building with connor. "any idea what you're getting your sister?"

connor shrugged. "probably matching jackets that i'm never going to wear."

"jared?"

"he likes bathbombs."

"what about alana?"

"the comic book store is selling limited edition copies of old wonder woman comics."

evan laughed."how are you so good at shopping for presents?"

connor waved the compliment off. "i just notice things they like but have never explicitly stated that they like, so when i give it to them they are pleasantly surprised."

evan sighed. "i have no idea what i'm getting any of them."

"get jared slime, zoe-earrings, and for alana, hot topic is having a sale on these cool leather jackets."

"bless you." said evan, giving him a thankful smile.

"no big deal."

evan set a hand on connor's shoulder. "no-seriously, thank you."

connor felt his face turn warm. "you're welcome."

and just as quickly as their little moment started, evan pulled his hand away from connor.

"so where are we headed first?"

 

 

  
an hour and a half later they all met up at the food court.

jared and alana were each carrying huge bags and bickering about who had which receipt.

zoe looked very content with her small five bags that all came from the same store.

as soon as they all reached the same spot zoe split them up again.

"connor and jared, me and evan and alana."

"what?" connor and jared protested at the same time.

how was connor going to get evan the perfect gift with jared kleinman in tow?

"sorry, i don't make the rules." zoe said, grabbing evan's wrist and dragging him away, alana following behind closely.

"if it's any consolation, i got you a cool present." jared said, walking behind connor.

"i don't care."

"evan's present is pretty cool too." he said, still trying to catch up.

jared's short ass stood no chance against connor's long legs.

"still don't care!"

"it comes with a letter that includes me confessing my love and asking him to be my boyfriend."

connor stopped and turned around to face jared, with an angry expression on his face. "are you serious?"

"nope." jared said wit a dopey smile.

connor groaned and kept walking. 

 

 

 


	15. strawberry chapstick tastes great (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this is choppy and eh.
> 
> but please comment what you guys think because I lOve comments and they make me happiness-cry.
> 
> ALSO.
> 
> i'm sort of writing a bmc fic and I don't know if I should post it or not? can you comment what you think.

evan thought that going shopping with zoe would be somewhat fun, so far all she's been doing is interrogating him.

"so, do you like connor?" she asked, looking at a rack of cardigans.

"of course i do. he's my best friend."

she shot him a look.

"okay, yes i do. like him. romantically."

"do you love him?"

the question caught him off guard and evan lost his balance and nearly fell into a table display of clothes. as soon as he composed himself he scratched his neck nervously.

"well-i-uh-i don't know?"

"do you envision yourself having a future with him?"

evan coughed. "you know what zoe? maybe we should focus on presents!"

zoe shrugged. "i already have mine. i just need to know whether or not you're going to be my brother-in-law."

evan nearly screamed right there in the department store.

he and connor weren't even dating and she expected him to know whether or not they'd get married.

he turned to look at alana.

she was happily looking through the book section a while away from them.

he sighed. "i don't know."

zoe nodded and walked over to a hoodie section with sayings on the front. "so what do you think you're getting him?"

"i have no idea."

connor may have told him what to buy for everyone else, but he never hinted at what he wanted.

"what did you get him?"

"nail polish, a cardigan, a hoodie, chapstick, new shoes. just things he uses everyday." zoe answered, moving away from the hoodies and looking around. "what'd you get him for his birthday?"

evan turned bright red. "uhm. what you suggested."

she stopped and turned to look at him. "you're joking, right?"

"no?"

zoe let out a weird, un-human like noise. "you kissed my brother? on the mouth?"

"no, i kissed his neck, zoe. where do you think?" he said sarcastically.

zoe shrugged. "explains the hickeys he always has."

evan's jaw dropped. "wait, what?"

"come on, let's go look at the t-shirts." she suggested, tugging him by the arm.

"zoe, please."

"okay, fine i'm joking."

"good." he said, letting out a worried breath.

she smiled at him. "you're so whipped."

"okay, maybe a little bit."

 

 

 

"what turns you on about connor?" jared asked, sipping on his orange julius.

evan was working today and jared who wasn't doing anything (like always) decided to keep him company.

"he's uhm, nice. and caring." evan answered, blushing.

jared gave him a look before bursting into a fit of laughter. "i mean sexually, you loser."

"he has nice hair?" evan replied.

"you're so innocent." jared sighed, pretending to wipe a tear from his face.

evan scowled, or at least tried to. "am not."

"evan, you're the vanilla-est vanilla to ever vanilla."

"and you're supposed to be kinky?" a voice scoffed from the front door.

evan and jared turned to see connor.

evan smiled at the sight of the boy before remembering what the conversation was about and blushed.

"i'll have you know i have many kinks." jared claimed.

"like?"

"i'm not about to list all of my kinks for you, connor. if you want to have sex, just ask."

"as if." connor laughed before walking over to the register. "hey evan."

"hi connor." evan replied, his face still warm.

"do you have any kinks?" he asked with a questioning expression on his face.

"why do you need to know?"

"future reference." connor winked.

"aren't you smooth." evan laughed, opening the register to organize the money.

"in all seriousness, evan's kinks are kindness and clean hair." jared said from his seat.

"who doesn't like clean hair though." evan said defensively.

"i think evan has a hair pulling kink." connor said thoughtfully.

evan turned completely red.

"and why do you think that?" jared asked.

connor gave evan a look as if to say "i am going to expose you for the hair-tugging menace you are".

"just a hunch." connor said, not breaking eye contact with evan who let out a breath of relief.

"honestly, scratching and biting is nice."

evan's face must've contorted into something of shock because jared laughed.

"i'm serious!"

"scratching's a no, biting is alright." connor stated.

"can we not?" evan sighed at the two shameless boys.

they looked directly at him before continuing.

"what about like hickeys?"

"man, hickeys are great."

evan fought the urge to kick them both out and checked the clock behind him.

about three minutes until closing.

then he would be free of all this talk about kinks.

"okay, but lip biting is cool too."

"eh. it's alright."

two minutes.

"you know what's gross?"

"spanking."

"i was going to say the same thing!"

one minute.

"neck kisses are amazing."

"boy, would i love to kiss evan's neck."

evan blushed and grabbed the keys from the wall. "time to go!"

connor and jared both got up and followed evan out the door. evan struggled to balance his backpack and lock the door at the same time.

"let me get that for you." connor said grabbing evan's backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.

"thanks." evan said, locking the door and shoving the key into his pocket.

when they reached the parking lot jared said his goodbyes and climbed into his car.

connor had offered to take evan home.

as soon as they arrived at evan's house connor turned to look at him.

"is your mom here?"

"no."

"is she working tomorrow?"

"yes."

connor fidgeted with the sleeve of his hoodie. "can i sleep over?"

evan smiled. "of course."

 

 

 

 

"okay, but i'm telling you that wonder woman is the _best_ comic book movie ever."

"nope. guardians of the galaxy begs to differ."

"evan, please. you're great and all, but you sound really dumb right now."

"connor, i know these things okay."

"whatever, we can both agree that wonder woman saved the dceu and that's all that really matters."

"uhm, have you seen green lantern 2011, ryan reynolds?"

"don't make me shove this pizza down your throat." connor threatened.

"it's a joke!" evan laughed, biting into a slice of pizza.

"what other movies do you have?" connor asked, leaning over to look at the dvd collection underneath the tv. "these are all just disney and superhero movies."

evan shrugged.

"i'm trying to find a romance movie so that i have an excuse to make out with you during the movie." connor confessed, still digging around for a movie.

"you know you could just ask for a kiss." evan said, feeling brave.

connor immediately turned around. "evan, can i have a kiss?"

"no, you have pizza mouth."

connor sighed. "tease."

evan set down his pizza and took a drink of his mountain dew. "if you admit that guardians of the galaxy was better than wonder woman."

"so you want me to lie for a kiss?" said connor, looking morally conflicted.

"ten, nine, eight-"

"okay! guardiansofthegalaxywasbetterthanwonderwoman." connor said, in one breath.

"good enough." evan said, before grabbing a fistful of connor's t-shirt and tugging connor down to him to press his lips against his.

evan wasn't exactly sure what had gotten into him, maybe it was the fact that christmas was in three short days and he was excited.

maybe connor's chapstick looked and smelt nice and now he knew that it tasted nice as well.

maybe it was the truth that evan was falling in love with connor murphy and it physically pained him to refrain himself from kissing and touching him.

they kissed frantically for a while before connor pulled away to breathe.

"sorry diana." he muttered, making evan chuckle before going back to kissing him.

 

 


	16. evan is definitely not a virgin (confirmed by connor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is bad. 
> 
> excuse ME.
> 
> comment what you think and don't forget to leave kudos.

connor murphy had no idea what him and evan were.

obviously, he knew that evan was his and he was evan's.

but, what they were didn't really have a label.

they've made out twice now and evan still blushed whenever connor did anything remotely couple-y.

truth was, evan was fucking up connor.

connor spent almost all of his day thinking about evan. every single day.  
he barely turned in assignments because he either day dreamed or skipped to go daydream about evan outside of school.

and then when school was over he was right back at that godforsaken building to pick up evan and whisk him away to "hang out" when everything they did was like a date.

the last time connor had had dinner with his family was on his birthday because of how much he went out to eat with evan.

his mom kept insisting that he spent way too much time with evan to be 'just friends' and his dad just seemed to be happy connor was happy.

all in all, connor's life was sort of ruined and he'd probably have to do a class or two in the summer but at least he was in a good place mentally.

he looked over at the boy sleeping across from him.

connor didn't want to seem creepy but, _fuck_.

evan looked perfect when he slept.

like an actual angel, with his soft hair and pretty nose and lips and the way he breathed even seemed to be attractive.

he was still marveling at his almost-boyfriend's face when evan's eyes opened.

"morning." connor smiled.

"crap. you scared me, connor." evan said running a hand over his face. "you're not supposed to watch people sleep."

"sorry." he said, still smiling at evan.

"are you okay?" evan asked, peering at him weirdly.

"yeah, why do you ask?"

"you seem particularly jovial today." evan answered, sitting up.

connor sat up as well and leaned closer to him. "i like it when you use big words."

"all i said was 'particularly', connor."

connor shrugged and began to close the space between them when evan shoved him away. "not until we both brush our teeth, you weirdo."

connor groaned and threw himself back onto the bed. "now i'm not in the mood."

"what if i say supercalifragilisticexpialadocious really fast?" evan joked, getting off the bed and heading towards the bathroom.

"that's not hot because it sounds like you're singing a nursery rhyme." connor stated, getting up to go to the bathroom as well.

"too bad." evan said, coating his toothbrush in toothpaste and tossing connor a brand new one.

they both brushed their teeth and then raced each other to the kitchen.

"what's for breakfast, chef hansen?"

"today we have a box of chocolate doughnuts from two days ago and coffee." evan said grabbing a doughnut and a cup of coffee.

"not as good as omelets, but it'll do."

as soon as they finished off their breakfast connor washed his hands and immediately wrapped an arm around evan's waist before pushing him against a counter. "so i brushed my teeth." he said breathily.

he could hear evan's breath hitch in his throat. "i saw."

"can i kiss you then?" he asked his face hovering centimeters away from evan's.

"let me think about it." evan teased, tapping his lip.

connor moved his head to press a kiss on evan's neck, he kept doing so until evan lifted his chin. "yes." he said, smashing his mouth against connor's.

connor loved kissing evan.

because it was the only time that connor felt secure. like everything in that moment, was not temporary. in this moment evan was confirming his feelings for connor, which means connor didn't have to wonder or have doubts.

and he also tasted like chocolate and coffee, two of connor's favorite things.

their kissing escalated and connor led them to the living room couch where they kept kissing. evan's hands had found their way to connor's hair and he worked his fingers through the curls again and again, making connor sigh with happiness.

finally, evan pulled away and connor thought that it was going to end there.

but then he began to pull his shirt over his head, and then pull connor's shirt off and like a magnet their mouths were back together in an instant.

connor's hands ran over evan's chest and torso excitedly.

a few minutes later all their clothes were off and evan and connor were hardly thinking straight.

 

 

 

"are you really okay?" his sister asked for the seventh time that day.

" _yes_." he answered again.

alana peered at his face as if inspecting him and jared gasped.

"connor are you back on drugs?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"no! i swear." connor replied, horrified that anyone would even suggest that.

"good." his sister said as if she was wondering the same thing.

"why am i getting harassed with all these questions?"

"well, you've been practically glowing since sunday and we're trying to figure out why." his sister stated.

connor laughed. "it's nothing. i'm just in a good mood."

"and what's the cause of that?" his sister inquired.

"you ask too many questions, shouldn't we be decorating this tree?" he said grabbing an ornament from the box.

suddenly they heard the door being opened and the sound of someone taking off their shoes and running towards the living room.

evan appeared at the doorway breathless. "sorry guys, my mom forgot to eat breakfast and i had to make her food because she'd probably pass out while driving and we can't have that happening the day before christmas because that would be a somewhat terrible christmas and-"

"evan, you look adorable in that sweater." alana said what everyone was thinking, making them all nod in complete agreement.

"thanks, my mom made it." he said, scratching his neck and blushing.

he walked over to the tree and grabbed an ornament. "hey connor." he said before leaning over to press a quick kiss to his lips.

connor stood there in shock.

no one had seen because they were all caught up on finishing decorations.

but connor couldn't believe evan would just kiss him in front of everyone like that.

_does this mean we're like close to being official?_

evan kept hanging ornaments and stringing tinsel, not even noticing the crisis connor was going through.

connor usually hated the holidays but after this, christmas might just become his favorite holiday of the year.

 


	17. connor is a changed man (confirmed by evan and everyone else)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> don't forget to comment.
> 
> also i don't really know if i'll be writing a chapter for Christmas day. i'll probably time jump to new years eve.

sex.

evan had had sex.

with connor murphy.

and surprisingly, he didn't even regret it.

and now he was sitting in connor's living room playing games with his friends.

he looked over at said boy who was staring at the wooden blocks in front of him with a concentration evan had never seen before.

slowly he reached over and grabbed a block before yanking it out as fast as he could.

the rest of the structure didn't tumble, and connor smiled proudly as the rest of the group clapped and cheered.

evan sighed, he hated jenga. he didn't think anything could really worsen his anxiety as much as the stupid game.

jared rolled his eyes. "how did you even do that, it was like supporting the entire thing."

"a technique that only someone with years of practice could pull off." he said, pretending to yawn.

"he just rips it out like a bandaid, if you do it fast enough the thing won't collapse." zoe answered, seemingly tired of her brother being extra.

connor punched her shoulder. "thanks a lot."

the rest of the game was everyone trying connor's technique and winning.

they got bored of it fast.

"spin the bottle."

"truth or dare!"

"seven minutes in heaven."

"monopoly?"

everyone looked at evan before bursting into laughter.

"so pure." jared said, pretending to wipe a tear from his face.

"shut _up_." evan said, turning red.

"i think we should play truth or dare." connor stated, running his hand through his hair excitedly.

everyone else murmured in agreement and zoe grabbed an empty beer bottle. "connor's starting."

connor grabbed the bottle and spun it in the circle they formed. it landed on alana.

"truth or dare." he asked.

"truth." she answered confidentally.

"have you ever made out with my sister?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"connor!" zoe exclaimed angrily.

"yeah." alana shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

" _alana_!"

"my turn!" jared shouted grabbing the bottle and spinning it.

it landed on evan.

jared smiled evily. "truth or dare."

evan was initially going to pick truth so that he wouldn't be forced into doing something embarrassing that would be used against him for forever but then quickly realized that if he said truth he could be asked a question that he didn't want to answer.

"dare." he said, sounding a lot less confident than alana.

jared looked genuinely surprised. "kiss connor. right now. in front of everyone."

evan felt his heart pound like a sledgehammer as alana and zoe made 'ooh' sounds.

 _crap_.

connor shrugged and moved closer to evan.

evan didn't mind the whole kissing connor thing, yesterday him and connor had been naked and entangled in each other's bodies. it was kissing him in front of other people.

would they think it was too long?

would they think of evan differently?

connor seemingly noticing evan's panic, leaned over even more before pressing a kiss to evan's cheek.

"you never specified where." connor said, an uncaring tone imminent  in his voice as he grabbed his drink and went back to his initial seat.

evan felt relief flood through his body and he watched connor wink at him over his cup of soda.

"oh, whatever." jared sighed, handing the bottle to zoe.

she smiled widely as she spun the bottle.

they all watched as it slowly turned and stopped on connor.

"truth or dare?"

"dare-wait no, truth."

she smiled even wider. "why were you in such a good mood earlier?"

connor's smile dropped as he cleared his throat awkwardly. "i got a good grade on my science test."

"bullshit." zoe said narrowing her eyes. "you don't give a shit about science."

connor looked at evan.

"if you don't want to answer the question, i can ask another one." his sister said, making jared and alana murmur in argument.

"yes please." connor said, seeming relieved.

"where were you last night?"

connor froze again.

"evan's house." he said before grabbing the bottle from zoe and setting it in the middle.

zoe gasped and turned to look at evan. her facial expression said that he was going to tell her everything later.

evan was probably going to make up a lie about how he and connor played video games or watched a great movie.

no way in hell was he going to say that he and connor made out until his lips were sore and colored a bright shade of pink.

they kept playing until they ran out of scandalous questions and they were tired.

they abandoned the game and began to discuss things.

zoe and alana were laying on the ground cuddling, jared was curled up in a ball on the couch, and connor was resting his head on evan's lap while evan played with his hair.

"gay." jared said, glancing at the two boys before retreating back to his position.

"thanks." connor muttered, not bothering to shoot a comeback at him.

suddenly zoe sat up. "me and alana are going up to my room."

"don't forget to use protection." jared called.

"she's helping me pack stuff to take to goodwill, jared."

"can i help? i don't want to be present while connor and evan make out."

"sure." she said grabbing alana's hand and leaving the room.

jared grabbed his glasses and quickly followed. "don't get too frisky kids!" he called before exiting.

evan rolled his eyes as connor sat up.

"i have an idea." he said, slipping off his cardigan.

"what is it?" evan said, studying the boys shirt.

it was brown and had the words BLACK LIVES MATTER imprinted on it in bold black letters.

 _wow, am i in love_ , evan thought happily.

"me and you should...get ready for my great idea....make out!" connor exclaimed, making evan laugh.

connor had been acting awfully not-connor-like. it was cute, but also scary.

"you know what? that does sound like a great idea." evan answered, before leaning over to press a kiss on connor's lips.

"actually. i have an even better idea."

"and.what.is.that?" evan asked punctuating every word with a kiss.

connor pulled evan on top of him and put his mouth to his throat. "let's hope you like neck kisses as much as i do."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont forget to comment !!


	18. connor is an idiot (confirmed by connor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a while omg.
> 
> anyways!
> 
> it's time to face the fact that this fic is ending soon :(
> 
> and I realized I was going to miss all of my children so! I posted another deh fic.
> 
> you guys should check it out.
> 
> also I'm stI'll debating about the bmc fic? 
> 
> comment if you think I should do it.
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy It

connor's life was spiraling out of control.

everything had been terrible, and then everything had been perfect, and now everything was going back to being complete shit.

he wasn't even exactly sure what had happened.

he and evan had been at his house, lying on his bed, with evan's head pressed against his chest.

"i like your hair." evan said.

"i like your smile." connor replied.

"i like how you smell."

"i like how you laugh."

"i love your face."

"i love you." connor hadn't even meant to say it, it just slipped.

and that didn't mean that he didn't _mean_ it.

he did.

he just knew better than to put evan hansen on the spot like that.

or at least he thought he did.

evan immediately sat up and looked at him with wide eyes.

he hadn't said anything and connor could feel something building up in his chest with every second that passed.

when enough time had passed, connor felt everything burst out.

"do you not love me, hansen? is that it? do you even like me? or do i mean nothing to you? because if that's the case than this is a great time to tell you that you mean _nothing_  to me. i couldn't care less about you." he said in one breath, before even realizing what he was saying.

evan stood up with an expression of shock and hurt displayed on his face. "y-you don't mean that, you're just freaking out. this is your bipolar disorder acting up, right?" he asked, sounding like he was trying to convince himself instead of connor.

when connor didn't reply and instead looked down, evan grabbed his coat from the chair beside connor's desk and turned to look at him with tears in his eyes.

" _fuck you_." he spat, with an unfamiliar sound of anger laced in his voice.

connor seeming to realize what he had done, ran his hands over his face. "shit, evan. come back."

evan left his room and stormed out of the house.

and that brings connor to now.

thinking of ways to win his not-really-boyfriend back.

again.

jared had bombarded him at work the next day and looked like he was about to kill connor until connor explained himself.

after connor was done, jared still looked like he was going to kill connor but still decided to help him.

"write him a letter."

"been there, done that."

"okay, stand outside his window with a boombox and sing to him."

"i thought of that but i'm a terrible singer."

"buy him a tree?"

connor's head snapped to look at him. "evan likes trees?"

"are you kidding me? he loves them. he volunteers for the arbor day foundation every year. how did you not know this?" jared said in complete shock.

connor sighed. "i don't know."

"propose to him under a tree or something."

connor laughed out loud. "i would if he'd stop ignoring me."

"for reasonable reasons."

connor sighed again. "and we're a couple days away from new years. i had this whole plan to make out with him for a full minute at zoe's party and then take him to my room where we could make out for much longer without interruption. and then i'd ask him to be my goddamn boyfriend and wow jared just stab me in the fucking chest already."

jared laughed and pushed connor away from the packets of seeds he was beginning to crush in his hands. "calm down, murphy. evan probably doesn't want to be with anyone who's dead."

"evan in general doesn't want to be with anyone right now." a voice said harshly.

both of the boys looked up to see evan walking in the door with his uniform on.

he looked like _shit_.

evan's hair which was usually looking very put together was messy and ruffled, his undereyes were almost as dark as his mom's, and _ohmygod_  was that scruff on his face?

"are you trying to grow a beard? because you're failing. also you'll look really stupid if you happen to somehow succeed." jared said studying the boy.

"oh shut up." evan said, trying to act like he didn't care but also running a hand over his face self-consciously.

"hey." connor said cheerily, trying his hardest to ignore the fact that the person he was in love with looked like he hadn't slept in two days because of him.

evan turned to look right at him, making connor's heart race. he then looked away and instead walked towards the small employee room to wait until his shift started.

jared stifled a laugh as soon as evan shut the door. "man, you really fucked up."

connor felt like he was going to cry.

jared seeming to have noticed walked over and set an arm on his shoulder. "connor, evan's not going to disappear, you have time to apologize and win him back."

he then laughed at his own word choice like the nerd he is. "'win him back'."

connor shook his head and went back to angrily stocking the seed packets.

 

 

connor had a terrible realization that night.

he _missed_  evan.

like a fucking ton.

he never really knew how much of his plans related to evan until evan was unavailable to hang out with.

he couldn't take it anymore.

he was barely sleeping, it was sort of hard to knowing that evan hated him.

and evan didn't seem to be in good shape either.

he sighed and took out his phone, he texted jared to ask him to ask evan if he was home.

jared made fun of him for being too scared to just text him, but still asked evan for him.

evan had said yes.

connor grabbed his sweatshirt and his keys before climbing out the window.

he drove to evan's house and even though he knew he shouldn't, he grabbed a couple rocks and made his way to the front of the house.

finding which window belonged to evan's room wasn't hard, the curtains were a bright shade of blue.

he took the small pebbles and began pelting the window.

after around three minutes the curtains were pushed aside and the window opened.

evan peered out the window at connor and visibly face palmed.

"connor, what the _hell_." he said angrily.

connor had noticed that evan had been swearing more and more recently and he found it cute that he'd rubbed off on him.

"look! he spoke to me." connor said smiling.

"go away."

"not until you either open the door for me or come out here."

evan narrowed his eyes at connor. "i'm not in the mood for this connor."

"please."

evan left the window and connor smiled triumphantly as the door was opened.

he raced to the front door and grinned at evan. "hello there, stranger." he said, earning an eye roll from evan.

"get in." evan said.

"wow, demanding." connor winked, entering the house.

 

 

 


	19. connor is a vampire (confirmed by everyone)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter got like no comments omg.
> 
> anyways make me happy and comment.
> 
> oh and don't forget to check out my other story you beautiful beings

  
evan was angry.

no, angry was an understatement.

he was absolutely livid.

not entirely at connor though.

partially because of himself.

if evan stayed in that room and maybe explained himself or had said anything rather than "fuck you", they wouldn't be in this unnecessary fight. but he was still mad at connor for not saying anything.

now connor sat in front of evan, still talking about how sorry he was.

"do you?" evan asked, cutting him mid-speech.

"what?"

"do you really love me?"

connor blushed for what seemed to be the first time and looked down. "well, yeah. and you don't have to love me right now, of course. just, take your time." he answered, looking up at evan. "and love me whenever you're ready. there's no rush, i'll always be here-"

"i love you." evan blurted.

"don't say that only because i did." connor said hesitantly.

"no, i seriously love you." evan said, feeling silly for having to repeat it.

connor smiled and leaned closer to him. he cupped evan's cheek and set an arm on his waist before whispering into his ear. "i love you too, evan hansen."

evan pressed his lips against connor's happily. he missed the feel of him.

he missed the curve of his lips, the warmth of his chest, the way he looked at evan in between kisses.

it'd only been two days but evan's fingers and lips explored connor as if they hadn't touched every inch of him already.

connor hooked his fingers under the hem of evan's sweatpants and tugged him over to the couch where he sat down and pulled evan atop him before beginning to plant kisses on his neck.

evan let out a couple of needy moans as connor made a trail of kisses from his collarbone up his jawline.

not being able to take it anymore he quickly reached up and kissed him harder than he's ever kissed him before.

connor seemed taken aback but kissed back just as enthusiastically.

evan pulled away breathlessly. "we have to go upstairs, my mom might come home."

connor laughed before following evan upstairs.

 

 

 

"evan, relax babe. it's not even that big of a deal-"

"connor it's our first day back at school, everyone's going to see!"

"relax, doesn't your mom have a turtleneck or something."

"i'm not going to wear my mom's turtleneck, connor. who even wears turtlenecks?" evan said frantically.

"i still don't see what the problem is." connor said nonchalantly.

evan turned to look at him with a gaping expression. "i have hickies and fucking bite marks all over my neck, connor murphy. this is all your doing."

"oh please don't act like you weren't practically begging for it last night."

"i did not."

connor made a small moaning sound to mimick evan. "'oh, _connor_.'" he said in a voice that sounded nothing like evan's.

evan turned bright red and frowned at him. "we're never having sex or kissing again."

"evan, that was a joke!" connor said, leaning closer to evan to try and peck him.

evan swatted him away before turning to his closet. "this is terrible."

"if it's stressing you out so much, just don't go to school and then me and you can both skip and i can give you more of those on parts of your body that no one else but me will see." connor suggested, trying to pull evan over to where he sat on the bed.

evan ignored what he said and sat by him.

connor leaned over and kissed his cheek. "i love you."

"i love you too." evan said turning to look him in the eye.

connor closed his eyes and leaned in before evan shoved him away. "i was serious about the whole no-kissing thing."

"now i'm sad."

"why don't you go make out with devin." evan said, referring to a new kid at school who apparently had a thing for connor.

it was kind of a big thing at school considering everyone thought that connor murphy was a crazy drug addict and poor devin had no idea about him.

"evan! how is this my fault? i don't bully you when i hear that someone likes you."

"you're right. you threaten them the next morning at their lockers." evan replied rolling his eyes.

"that was only twice."

"hm, three times i recall."

"details, details." connor said, tracing evan's face with his fingers.

"besides, he's a lot cuter than me. he has pretty eyes and a nice smile and he probably doesn't freak out when his boyfriend tells him he loves him."

connor stared at evan with the biggest smile.

"what?"

"you just called me your boyfriend."

evan put a hand up to his mouth. "oh no, i was talking figuratively."

"you can't take it backkkk." connor said in a singsong voice.

"too late. i took it back the moment it left my mouth." replied evan, standing up quickly.

connor pulled him on top of him. "you're adorable."

"i bet justin foss thinks so too." evan said, remembering hearing about how connor took justin behind a dumpster and threatened to give him a black eye if he didn't stay away from evan.

"justin foss hasn't gotten to kiss you though, or give you hickies all over your neck, or other graphic things that if i bring up will result in you hitting me and leaving."

evan blushed and stayed silent.

connor immediately sat up. "wait, why are you being quiet. did you and justin-"

"no! no, no. never."

connor let out a breath of relief. "okay good."

"you know what you have that justin doesn't?"

"you."

"aside from that you dork."

"what?" connor asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"princess hair." he answered, running his hands through connor's hair.

"you only like my hair because you can tug on it when i-"

evan clamped a hand over connor's mouth. "okay! it's time for school!"

 

 

 

 

  
"why are you wearing a scarf to school?" zoe asked, knitting her eyebrows.

jared laughed. "evan you look like you're suffocating."

"it's just really cold!" evan insisted, tightening the cloth around his neck.

"then why aren't you wearing a long sleeved shirt?" alana questioned.

"will you guys leave me alone?" evan huffed, holding his books closer to his chest.

jared sighed and pushed evan's books out of his hands and yanked the scarf off.

the group gasped dramatically as they noticed the purplish marks on evan's neck.

"jesus." alana said tracing her fingers over them.

zoe punched connor's shoulder. "connor, you fucking vampire."

all meanwhile jared was laughing a lot harder than he should have been.

evan grabbed the scarf back and tied it over his neck, feeling his face turn red. "jared, i'm going to strangle you the moment we leave school grounds."

"i-can't-believe-this." jared gasped in between fits of laughter.

"only thing that matters is that they made up." alana said, picking up evan's things from the ground.

"connor, why'd you fucking _bite_  him?" his sister asked, still clearly in shock.

connor shrugged calmly, still staying silent as he usually did at school. he broke out of his silence to bid the group bye before he leaned over to kiss evan on the lips.

he walked to class and everyone's eyes followed him.

"did he just-"

"are you guys-"

"what the fuck."

"well, i have got to go to class! see you guys later!" evan said, escaping before they could ask him anymore questions.


	20. evan makes out with alana (sort of cofirmed by connor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this story has a couple more events until it finishes i guess. there's evan's birthday, the wedding, valentine's day.
> 
> sorry if this chapter is choppy, it's not very eventful.
> 
> don't forget to leave a nice comment though.   
> i'll come over to your house with cookies if you do.

~~~~

"stop."

connor's head snapped up at the sound of evan's voice from across the hallway.

he sounded angry and as soon as connor's eyes found him he could tell that he looked angry too.

"stop what?" devin asked, looking confused.

"connor murphy doesn't want to have coffee with you nor does he want to go out with you, so stop asking about him, staring at him, and making him uncomfortable." evan said sternly.

connor was so focused on how hot evan looked when he was being mean so it took awhile for what evan actually said to register.

"jesus fuck." he said, realizing what was happening.

he debated on whether or not to step in, but quickly decided against it when he saw that it looked like evan and devin were handling it.

connor thought devin apologized because evan nodded and gave him one last glare before walking away.

connor didn't want devin to see him so he hid around the hallway until devin entered his class. he noticed a familiar blue striped shirt walking past and he grabbed the person's hand, praying that it was evan.

"connor?"

"evan, you possessive fuck. what was that?"

evan sighed. "he was being annoying and i gave him a reality check."

connor laughed. "god, you sound like a dick. i thought we agreed that i was the asshole and you were the sweet one."

"oh shut up." evan said blushing.

"it's not like i was ever going to say yes to coffee with him. i am taken, after all."

evan smiled.

"not by you, you're my side chick."

evan's smile disappeared and he punched connor's shoulder.

"ow, hansen. have you been working out? or is it the sex. because i heard that sex is an even better exercise method-" connor stated before he was cut off by evan putting his hand over his mouth.

he bit evan's hand gently watching as the boy retracted it immediately.

"connor, that's gross!"

"okay, so it's gross when i do it to your hand but when i do it to your neck it's 'oh connor' and 'yes connor'. you need to make up your mind-"

"why are you so goddamn talkative today?" evan grumbled, slapping his hand over his mouth again.

this time connor pried evan's fingers off and sighed. "i'm nervous."

evan dropped his hand and studied connor's face. "about what?"

"if i tell you something do you swear that you won't tell anyone."

"on my life."

"i overheard my mom and dad talking about getting married."

"that's fantastic!" evan said brightly.

"yeah, i mean he's a great guy."

"well, why are you nervous then?" evan asked, grabbing connor's hand and tracing his thumb over his knuckles.

he did that whenever connor was getting worked up about something. it calmed him down.

"it's just, my mom's last marriage? yeah, that didn't end so well."

evan set a hand on connor's cheek. "connor, your dad isn't like larry."

"i know, but what if he becomes like him?"

"that's not going to happen, because he loves you and you're older and you and zoe both know what to do if anything like that were ever to happen again." evan insisted.

he was now cupping both of connor's cheeks and looking him dead in the eyes.

"i love you." connor said.

"i love you too. and now that we've missed almost half of last period, i think we should leave."

"sometimes i think the only reason you like me is because i have a car." connor quipped, pushing himself off the wall and walking towards the end of the hallway to the front door.

"oh no. i've been exposed." evan replied sarcastically, following connor.

 

 

 

 

_**you** ; okay so mom n dad are having a fucking family meeting_

_**babyboy** ; maybe they're going to formally talk about it with you and zoe!_

_**you** ; or they could have found out about my absences_

_**babyboy** ; unlikely. come on, connor just go._

_**you** ; okay okay_

_**babyboy** ; call me afterwards?_

_**you** ; of course_

connor tossed his phone on the bed and mentally prepared himself for whatever his parents had in store.

"connor!" he heard his mom call from downstairs.

he sighed and left his room.

 

 

  
"one month?"

"one fucking month, evan." connor repeated angrily. "how do you just drop the news that you're getting married and then say that it's in a month."

"connor, it's going to be okay. it's not like they didn't talk about it with each other." evan insisted over the phone. "jared, no, stop. just because it says sunflower seeds does _not_ mean you can eat them."

evan was at work and no one was coming in so he decided to call connor instead of waiting.

"what if i told my parents i was getting married in a month? they'd get pissed." connor grumbled, listening to his almost-boyfriend scold jared over the phone.

"connor, that's different."

"double standards." connor said, picking at his jeans.

"hey, i got to go. some lady and her boyfriend just came in." evan said in a hushed voice.

connor sighed. "see you tonight?"

"my mom's working so you can spend the night." evan said, a hint of something imminent in his tone.

connor grinned, forgetting about the wedding. "heidi hansen really has no idea what kind of a son she has."

"oh shut up." evan replied. "i've really got to go." he added.

"i love you, babe."

"only boyfriends get to call each other babe." evan teased before ending the call.

connor removed his phone from his ear and threw it on the bed.

he had been thinking of ways to ask evan out properly and he had gotten the gist that evan was tired of the whole 'i'll take you on dates and make out with you all the time but we're not dating' thing.

he just wanted it to be sort of perfect.

he thought christmas had been the right moment but then he and evan had ended up having sex in his room all while evan was wearing a dumb red hat.

and then new years eve was a repeat of christmas but instead of a santa hat he had one of those shiny party cones tied to his head.

but now he realized he had many great opportunities.

valentine's day, evan's birthday.

okay so maybe he only had two.

he found valentine's day kinda cheesy and decided against it.

evan's birthday it is.

 

 

  
"we're actually not going to make out today, okay." evan mumbled in between kisses.

connor chuckled before pressing his lips back against evan's.

"'m serious." evan said, still kissing connor.

connor sighed and pulled away. "i don't get it."

"connor, what are we?"

"err, best friends?"

"alana. alana is my best friend. do you see us making out?"

"i don't know. maybe it happens behind my back?" he said, trying to make a joke.

"the answer is no." evan replied, sitting up and adjusting his shirt. "therefore, we're not going to kiss until we become official."

"fine with me." connor said, knowing that evan was probably going to snap within the first hour.

 _this is not fine with me_ , connor thought, wondering if he'd really have to wait two whole weeks to kiss evan.

evan shrugged as if it wasn't bothering him.

"what do best friends do?" connor said aloud.

"they watch movies and enjoy each other's company while refraining from touching each other."

"that sounds boring." connor huffed.

a couple of minutes passed before he spoke again.

"wanna make out?"

"sure." evan said, before connecting his lips to connor's.

 

 


	21. connor murphy has sort of big hands (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is very boring and mostly them jus t making out bc who am i kidding these are two teenage boys.
> 
> don't forget to comment
> 
> there were some really nice ones last chapter and Icried like twice

  
"evan?"

"yes, mom?"

"have you, been uh, contacting your father lately?"

evan dropped the wooden spoon he was using to scramble the eggs and turned to look at his mom who was standing by the refrigerator.

"no, never, why?"

her eyebrows furrowed. "it's just i've seen you receive texts from someone named 'daddy' and i didn't quite know if it was someone else or you-"

"jesus, mom. you scared me, i thought you were going to say he was going to come back and visit or something." evan said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"no way."

"and uhh, 'daddy' is uhm, connor. he saved himself as that, i guess." evan said feeling embarrassed.

"oh. okay." his mom replied noticing the blush on evan's face.

she grabbed some plates and watched as evan divided the eggs on to each of them.

he grabbed his toast and apple juice and sat down on the table.

evan only ate at the table when his mom was there.

otherwise it just felt empty.

his mom cleared his throat after swallowing a bite of her eggs. "so are you and connor dating yet?" she asked as if she expected them to be.

"well, it's complicated?" evan answered, moving his eggs across his plate.

"hmm."

"it's just, we do everything that being in a relationship consists of all while calling ourselves friends." evan confessed.

"what are you guys waiting for then?"

"i'm waiting for him to properly ask me out."

she tilted her head to the side, as he often did. "why don't you ask him out?"

"i don't know. i mean, connor kissed me first, connor asked me on a date first, it just seems right for him to ask me out."

his mom laughed at how frantic evan seemed. "don't do that."

"don't do what?"

"start to doubt yourself, and then second guess how connor feels about you, and then try and convince yourself he hates you and then ultimately end up ruining it." his mom said.

"gee thanks mom." evan said exasperatedly.

"i'm speaking from experience, darling." she replied, patting his back.

evan was about to say something when his phone vibrated and lit up with the word DADDY. evan blushed furiously before excusing himself to pick the phone up and answer connor. he went to his room and shut the door.

"connor?"

he heard a rustle of leaves and the sound of wind over the line and then a breathless connor. "hey, open your window."

evan shoved the curtains and was met by a grinning connor murphy.

"did you seriously bring a ladder to my window?" he asked, opening the window and watching as connor clambered in.

"it was just lying in the back of your yard and i was trying to be romantic. also your mom's home." he said, still sounding out of breath.

evan studied him.

he looked nice today, a dark woolen cardigan hung from his sort of lanky physique and his hair fell around his face and looked almost as if he had brushed it.

he quickly put it up in a bun, using the hair tie on his arm. "did it work?" he asked grinning.

"like a charm." evan answered, leaning closer and tugging connor down to him.

they were just about to kiss when evan's mom walked in.

connor pushed evan away and smiled. "heidi!"

"hello there, connor. i wasn't aware our front door was broken?" she said smiling back.

connor blushed. "sorry."

"that's alright. me and evan were just about to finish breakfast, would you like to join?"

"of course!" he exclaimed rather enthusiastically.

evan narrowed his eyes at the back of connor who was so obviously kissing up to his mother.

he kept his mouth shut as they all went back to the kitchen table.

breakfast with connor and his mom wasn't exactly awkward but it wasn't something he'd get used to doing everyday either.

after awhile his mother had to leave for work and so him and connor were left alone.

"have fun!" heidi called running out to her car.

"we will." connor said, as soon as the door was shut.

he turned to evan and smiled. "so, where were we?"

"you know that's a direct line from shrek 2?"

connor groaned. "why do you have to ruin everything?"

evan laughed before remembering something.

"hey, when did you save yourself as daddy in my phone?" he asked, frowning.

"same time i saved you as 'babyboy' in mine." connor winked.

"connor, that's gross and i've never called you daddy. ever." evan insisted.  "besides, you're not even the dominant one in our relationship."

connor scoffed before moving closer to evan, making him move back. "really?"

"really." evan replied firmly, still backing up as connor moved forward.

"really really?" connor asked.

now evan was against the wall.

"really really." evan repeated, feeling his breath hitch in his throat.

connor suddenly pinned evan's hands against the wall with one of his. he leaned in very closely and was about to press his lips to evan's before evan spoke.

"that, was also a shrek quote."

"i am not letting that ruin this." connor decided, sounding like he was more trying to convince himself instead of evan.

evan chuckled as connor smashed his mouth against his.

 

 

 

  
"gross." jared said, looking over at connor and evan kissing on the couch.

evan was half in connor's lap and had his hands entangled in his hair while connor ran his hands over evan's back.

"i think it's rather cute." alana chimed, happily focusing on their video game.

"i think the whole evan being happy part is cute but watching my brother suck his face off isn't." zoe interjected before groaning when alana killed her avatar.

evan blushed furiously when he and connor broke apart for air.

connor gave him this intense look that seemed hungry and demanding and overall hot and scary at the same time.

evan immediately reconnected his lips to connor's.

he pulled apart long enough to whisper in his ear. "you want to go up to your room?"

connor nodded before they both stood up and excused themselves to go upstairs.

jared laughed. "you guys are like rabbits."

"i don't get it." zoe said making jared laugh even harder and her girlfriend facepalm.

connor rolled his eyes before grabbing evan's hand and they both left the room.

they raced to connor's room and connor shut the door before basically shoving evan against it and kissing him as hard as he could.

contrary to their friends belief evan and connor didn't actually have a lot of sex.

it was mostly intense makeout sessions that ended in only their shirts coming off.

evan pulled away and moved them over to the bed, straddling connor and cupping one of his cheeks before kissing him deeply.

connor's mouth parted slightly and he let out a sound when evan moved his pelvis against his.

the moan gave evan confidence to kiss him harder and move his hips against connor slower.

it was a couple more minutes of this until connor pushed evan off of him and practically ripped off his own shirt.

evan quickly did the same, barely having time before connor kissed him again.

kissing connor, to evan, was absolutely heavenly.

he was fast and slow at the right times and always knew where to put his hands and he made evan feel as if nothing even mattered anymore but their lips moving as if they were synchronized.

god, was he in love with connor.


	22. evan's mom is a great cook (confirmed by connor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update omg!!!
> 
>  
> 
> anyways I jusy wanted to thank you guys for the beautiful comments, especially those of you who comment on almost every chapter it really builds my confidence considering I think im a shit writer. 
> 
> keep leaving comments and being lovely human beings ♡ you guys inspire me

  
evan's birthday.

is today.

and frankly connor was freaking the fuck out.

he had bought him a present but wasn't exactly sure if it was a good one.

he was debating on whether or not to even give it to him.

connor looked at the ring in his hand and sighed. this was stressing him out so much that he had to resist the urge to light a joint.

_stop being a wuss, connor._

he opened his eyes and released his grip on the small box in his palm.

 _evan loves you_ , he reminded himself  standing up and shoving the box in his pocket.

he ran a hand through his hair before checking his reflection in the mirror.

he looked like _shit_.

connor sighed again before going to the bathroom to wash his face.

he was not going to look terrible or feel terrible on his boyfriend's birthday.

today was about evan.

he got dressed and drove over to evan's house as fast as he could.

he rang the doorbell, tapping his foot impatiently.

when the door swung open he was ready to kiss evan but instead was met by heidi.

"hello heidi."

"connor! it's a bit of a surprise to see you here at six in the morning." she looked like she'd just woken up.

"i can come back if you'd like." he said, knowing damn well that there was no way he was leaving.

"no, no that's fine. evan's in his room." she said, stepping aside to let him in.

connor took off his shoes before racing upstairs to evan's bedroom. he slowly turned the knob in order to surprise him.

he was greeted by the sight of a snoring evan laying in bed, swaddled by a blue blanket.

"jesus, he's adorable." connor muttered, walking over to study his face.

he looked very peaceful and connor resisted the urge to kiss him.

he hadn't seen evan in three whole days, which was the longest they'd been apart for a while.

of course connor texted him every five minutes to make sure he wasn't dead.

he climbed into bed with evan before wrapping an arm around his waist, causing evan to stir and eventually open his eyes.

"connor?" he said in a raspy voice, turning to face him.

"morning." connor replied, setting a hand on evan's face.

evan sat up quickly and ran a hand through his hair. "what are you doing here?"

"it's your birthday loser." connor said, studying evan's bare torso.

evan blushed when he noticed connor, as if connor hadn't seen him naked before.

"oh, come on hansen." connor said rolling his eyes before shoving him out of bed. "hurry up, we have plans."

evan complied and as soon as he entered the bathroom connor facepalmed.

"say nice things, connor. be polite." he scolded himself.

today had to be perfect.

evan had made his birthday his most favorite day of his life and he wanted to leave that same effect on evan.

suddenly the door swung open and evan walked out with a towel, dabbing at his face.

"get dressed, angelface!" connor said cheerfully, before kissing his cheek. "i'll meet you downstairs."

"angelface?" evan repeated in confusion, with a bewildered expression on his face.

connor left the room before he had to answer any questions about his word choice.

making his way downstairs he braced himself to greet evan's mom again.

he smelt food and his nose guided him to the kitchen table.

it was decorated with plates of bacon, eggs, and pancakes.

connor smiled at the sight of the normally empty table, covered in food.

he went to the kitchen to see if heidi needed any help.

she was struggling to carry three glasses so he jogged over and took two from her.

"thank you dear." she said, wiping a hand across her cheek. it left a streak of flour.

"no problem!" connor smiled.

this was his future mother in law, he needed to charm her.

"is evan up yet?" she asked setting down her glass.

"yes, yes he is." evan said entering the kitchen before kissing his mom's cheek. "morning mom."

"there's my handsome birthday boy." heidi cooed, pinching evan's cheek.

"mom." evan sighed, rubbing the spot she pinched.

"come eat." she said suddenly, pulling out a chair and shoving evan into it.

connor grinned at how uncomfortable he looked and sat down across from him before digging into his food.

"so what are my beautiful boy and my favorite murphy boy doing today?" heidi asked, smiling at evan and connor who seemed to be enjoying the food.

"i was thinking about taking him to a couple of places." connor answered, staring intently at evan.

he blushed and looked down.

"sounds like fun!" heidi exclaimed, not seeming to notice the moment they were having.

"i'm sure it will be." evan smiled at his mom sheepishly.

"well, i have to go. i'll be back for dinner, sweetie." she says, standing up and kissing evan's forehead.

connor thought she was going to pat him but instead she kissed his forehead too.

he blushed slightly and said bye.

as soon as she left, connor got up to sit by evan who was still eating his pancakes.

he stared at him with a smile on his face.

evan tried to ignore him until he eventually sighed and set his fork down. "yes connor?"

"can i have a kiss?"

"we both just ate." evan insisted.

"who cares? you probably taste like syrup."

"afterwards." evan said, licking his lips.

connor sighed dejectedly and waited for evan to finish.

evan then told him he had to wait until they were done clearing the table.

twenty minutes later, after connor had cleared the table and evan had washed the dishes they met in the living room and both collapsed on the couch.

"now can we kiss?" connor asked.

"let me just go brush my teeth agai-" evan began to say in a joking tone before connor cupped his cheeks and kissed him firmly.

he'd missed evan so much.

they kissed for a while, keeping it sort of pg, until evan's phone lit up with a text.

_**big ugly** ; we're waiting for you idiots at the mall, stop having sex and get over here_

connor listened to evan read it out loud as he continued to keep kissing and nibbling evan's neck.

he sighed when evan finished and pulled away from him. "i totally forgot about them."

"me too." evan admitted, grabbing his shoes and putting them on.

he and connor made their way to his car.

"what's that?" connor heard evan say.

"what's what?" he turned to look at what he was talking about.

it was a bag that connor recognized as the one that held the ring.

he immediately grabbed the bag and threw it in the back of the car. "oh just some of zoe's shit she forgot to take out."

connor was a very good liar.

his years of sneaking out and denying the fact that he was high helped a lot.

evan, seeming to have believed him, fixed his seatbelt and began talking about some TV show he'd started.

 _that was really fucking close,_ connor thought, half-listening to evan ramble.


	23. connor is a very jealous person (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter actually really sucks like I'm being dead serious right now.
> 
> I made it up right on the spot because I wanted to give you guys something, but it's really bad just and fyi.
> 
> it's just very boring.
> 
> anyways!!!
> 
> don't forget to coMment. 
> 
> all of your comments are so cute and I love you guys.

  
evan was happy.

he had a wonderful sort of boyfriend, great friends, and his mom was at home more often.

life seemed to be going very nicely for him lately.

"we're here!" connor said, sounding unnaturally cheerful.

he'd been acting this way all morning and evan thought it was because he was mad at him for some unknown reason at first.

then he realized that connor was trying to be extra nice for his birthday.

he found it cute, but still unnerving.

they left the car and made their way inside the mall.

jared had said that they were waiting at the food court.

they quickly located a table that seated their three friends.

"finally." jared said, standing up to give evan an awkward sort of hug. "happy birthday, loser."

evan blushed as alana hugged him (a lot more comfortably) and then zoe kissed his cheek.

he thanked them before sitting down beside connor.

connor snatched one of his sisters fries. "did you really go shopping?" he asked, sounding awfully judgy.

"only zoe." alana sighed.

"i had nothing to do while we waited! besides i got you a new nail polish." she answered, digging in the bag and tossing him a small nail polish bottle.

"fuck yeah. black with sparkles." connor said happily studying the bottle.

evan smiled at him.

 _god, he's adorable_.

"anyways, now that gay number one and two are here we can go see that movie." jared declared.

they all murmured in agreement and navigated themselves to the theater inside the mall.

the movie they'd decided on was a cringey romantic comedy since they'd all seen all the important movies before.

as evan waited in line for popcorn connor left to grab them drinks.

evan prayed that he wouldn't make it to the register without a connor to order for him.

when he opened his eyes he realized it was his turn.

he walked up to the counter. "can i have a popcorn medium? i mean, a medium popcorn. sorry." he said, scratching his neck.

he looked up at the register who let out a chuckle.

he looked pretty young, maybe 19.

his nametag read 'oliver'.

"is that it?"

"yeah. i mean, no. i mean, no that's it." evan answered, feeling his palms grow sweaty.

he could feel the people in line judging him for taking so long. they probably thought something was wrong with him.

the boy swiftly began making the popcorn which took just a minute, he grabbed it for evan and set it in front of him.

"that'll be 5.37." the boy said, giving evan a smile.

evan felt his heart drop.

_connor had the money._

he turned to look behind him nervously. "i-uhm-am waiting for someone. who has the money-i'm sorry. he went to get drinks but i didn't think that it'd take this long plus the line was sort of long and i thought i'd have time but you're _really_  good at your job-"

"you're cute." the boy said, tilting his head to the side. "i got it. it's on me. now go on before you miss your movie." he grinned at evan.

evan blushed and grabbed the popcorn before rushing to the theater.

he spotted connor and the rest of them. he ran over and sat in the spot they had saved for him in the middle.

"connor, you left me alone with no money!" he hissed, careful not to be too loud and ruin the previews.

"shit." connor said putting his drink down. "i thought i had given you the money."

"how'd you get the popcorn i thought you were broke." jared said stuffing his face with sour patch kids.

evan blushed. "i got it for free."

they all snapped their heads to look at him.

"what'd you do?" zoe asked, sounding like she was ready to do what he did and get free popcorn.

"did you suck his dick?" jared asked, also sounding like that's something he'd do for free popcorn.

"no, he uh, just gave it to me." evan said scratching his neck.

"what did he say exactly." alana pressed.

"'you're cute, it's on me'?" evan trailed, sounding very confused.

connor stood up and began to roll his sleeves. "okay, which one was it."

zoe and alana shoved him back down into his seat.

"what'd you say?"

"nothing, i just grabbed it and ran."

"very evan-esque." jared snorted, digging his hand into his bag loudly.

"you should've said 'i have a boyfriend but thanks'." zoe sighed before stealing some of evan's popcorn.

"well technically speaking-" evan and connor both began.

"wait you guys aren't dating?"

"wow, you guys suck."

"connor, what are you going to do if someone just snatches evan up."

evan sighed and sat back in his seat.

"so technically, evan's fair game and that boy was allowed to hit on evan." jared declared.

connor grumbled and angrily began drinking his mountain dew.

suddenly the lights dimmed, signaling that the movie was about to start.

evan liked the movie.

it was cheesy and very very cliche, but overall sweet and funny.

plus connor made out with him during all the kissing scenes, much to jared's dismay as alana and zoe were also kissing.

as soon as the movie ended they grabbed their drinks and headed out to the lobby.

connor suddenly anounced that he had to use the bathroom and evan had to come.

they all groaned as jared volunteered and then zoe and alana too. the bathroom was relatively empty so no one noticed the girls. they were in there for quite a while banging on the stall doors and laughing.

evan sighed and leaned against the door as they began singing kumbaya loudly.

the door was suddenly pushed open and evan stumbled away from it.

it was opened to reveal oliver, the boy from the register.

he shot evan a smile and then his eyes set on the rest of them.

"you guys are being a bit loud, would you mind coming out?" he asked, rather politely.

"i'm latina, alana's black, and connor and evan are very gay."

the boy looked confused. "nice to know?"

"if you kick us out, that's a hate crime." she replied, causing the rest of them to erupt in laughter.

even oliver looked amused. "and what about the other one?"

"jared? i think he's jewish."

oliver ran a hand through his hair. "great piece of information, but you guys have got to leave."

"its fine, we were on our way anyways." connor said sternly, before gesturing to the others that they should go.

they all made their way to the door before oliver grabbed evan's hand. "except for you, i want to talk to you."

connor narrowed his eyes and stayed back. "whatever you have to say, just say it."

the boy looked at connor before holding out his phone to evan. "put in your phone number. please." he added at the end.

evan blushed before quickly putting it in.

"thanks, and i didn't quite catch your name." he said.

"evan."

"ah, nice to meet you evan. now, i got to go before i get fired." he winked, leaving the bathroom.

connor exhaled angrily and grabbed evan's hand before going out to the lobby where alana, zoe, and jared waited.

right in front of oliver's register, connor sort of stopped before pressing his lips to evan's.

it was brief and chaste and only happened because connor wanted oliver to back off but evan liked it.

he was careful not to look at oliver's face expression before they left.


	24. connor is really hot in a suit (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii
> 
> it's me, your Favorite Author.
> 
> haha, just kidding i suck.
> 
> anYways, this chapter is fluff
> 
> please comment what you think i'll love you forever

connor was well aware of the dangers that came with being in love with someone who technically doesn't belong to you.

so yeah, he wasn't surprised when that kid hit on evan.

and he wasn't surprised when evan took that as someone initiating a friendship.

all in all, evan was a pure baby who connor needed to protect from the horrors of modern day boys.

he looked over at evan, who was eating his icecream happily.

he had a speck of vanilla on the corner of his mouth and connor leaned over to wipe it off with his thumb.

he thought about all the times he'd fought himself not to do that, when he was still pining for evan.

it seemed like only days ago that he fought jared kleinman in a library for touching evan's shoulder.

evan blushed and shoved the empty icecream bowl away from him.

he glanced at his phone. "we have an hour or two before dinner."

connor intended to give evan the ring before dinner but now he wasn't so sure.

he gave evan a smile. "where do you want to go next?"

"anywhere as long as it's with you."

"what about my bedroom?"

evan blushed again and shrugged.

connor tilted his head to the side. "wow, i've corrupted you."

evan stood up before grabbing his hand and pulling him from his seat. "oh shut up."

connor grinned and happily followed evan to his car.

 

 

 

  
"okay, but today has been boring and i'm sorry." connor sighed, running a hand through evan's hair.

evan shook his head. "no, today's been my best birthday ever."

"i just wanted to make it special, but we ended up doing everything that we usually do." connor insisted, getting angry at himself.

evan lifted his head off of connor's chest and turned before firmly pressing a kiss to connor's jaw. "it was _perfect_ , connor. i promise."

connor held his gaze for a moment before kissing him on the lips.

one of his hands went up to cup his cheek and the other to his waist, pulling him closer.

he sat up and pulled evan on top of him, deepening the kiss.

evan kissed back heartily, all while tugging on connor's hair and threading his fingers through it.

one of his hands trailed down connor's torso, making connor sharply intake his breath.

he shoved evan to the bed and began to take off his shirt before leaning down to kiss evan's neck and jaw.

evan let out a soft needy sound that fueled connor to keep kissing and sucking, leaving a trail of pink down his throat.

he brought his mouth back to evan's lips and evan wrapped his hands around connor's neck.

suddenly the doorknob began to move and connor and evan flew apart.

evan landed on the floor, trying to adjust his shirt.

connor, not having time to put on a shirt, just layed down and threw his covers over him.

zoe suddenly opened the door.

"connor, i need my- what the fuck evan?" she began. "why is connor making you sit on the ground while he hogs the bed, that's such a dick thing."

connor sighed. "i thought you were mom."

"treat guests with respect." his sister stated, seemingly angry.

connor fought the urge to burst out into laughter. "okay, c'mere evan. i'm sorry."

evan stood up in confusion and trailed over to connor's bed. "oh, i forgive you."

"see? now, can you leave?" connor said, moving his body in order to hide his slight boner.

"i need my nail polish." she sighed.

"which one?"

"the black one that's not that black."

"i finished that one."

"connor! they're not restocking those till next fall!" she exclaimed, exasperatedly.

"there's like 250 other shades of black, zoe. help yourself." connor said, getting annoyed that this was taking too long.

evan scratched his neck awkwardly.

"you owe me five bucks." she replied, before stomping out of his room and closing the door.

"finally." connor exhaled, throwing off the covers.

"nail polish thief." evan chuckled as connor climbed over him and began kissing his neck again.

 

 

 

"you look fine, oh my god."

"really? you don't think a button up is too casual?" evan asked, biting his lip.

"i mean, it might be hard to unbutton it when we're making out in the bathroom later." connor said slyly.

evan rolled his eyes. "as if i'm going to make out with you and then sit at dinner with my mom."

"it'll be fun! and risky and dangerous." he said, grinning at evan.

"you're dangerous." evan sighed, trying to fix his cuffs.

connor snaked an arm around his waist. "true, very true." he pulled evan to him. "also you have a hickey, right here." he whispered, pressing a kiss to a visible spot on evan's neck.

evan shoved him away gently. "connor!"

"relax, you can borrow some of zoe's concealer."

"in case you haven't noticed, connor, i'm white."

connor tapped his lip. "you got me there."

evan sighed and studied it in the mirror. "okay, so i fell."

"on your neck?"

"shut up, connor."

"how about you say you've got smallpox." connor suggested, jokingly.

"good idea!"

"evan, smallpox was eradicated in the 1980s."

evan let out a puff of breath frustratedly. connor fought the urge to kiss his lips.

"act like it's not there. your mom won't say anything, she'll know it's me marking my territory and she won't say a word because she loves me." connor insisted.

"'marking your territory.'"

"mhmm."

"like when you made out with me in front of that guy at the theater."

"you gave him your number!"

"because he was nice and wanted to be my friend!"

connor shook his head. "nope, he wanted to get into your pants. i know how teenage boys are, evan. i am one. they're all evil, except for you."

"you're not evil."

"yeah, i am."

evan poked his nose, resulting in connor moving away. "you're just a big baby."

"no, i am scary. i do drugs and suck dick for money." connor stated.

evan laughed and tugged on connor's tie, making connor grin. "we should go, my mom's probably already there."

connor stuck out his arm. "shall we?"

evan swatted it away. "you're so extra."

"wait until our wedding." connor replied.


	25. connor is like a sugar daddy (confirmed by evan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter sucks omg. 
> 
> I typed it at like 3 am because I was excited.
> 
> There are some sexual things, mostly said by connor and even evan.
> 
> Anyways, leave comments on how you think I did!
> 
> enjoy your day, lovelies.

 

  
dinner went perfect to evan.

aside from the part where the waiter came before he had whispered what he wanted to his mom resulting in evan sweating a lot and stuttering.

connor held his hand under the table which calmed him down a bit until he realized that connor probably felt his weird sweaty hands.

but the rest of the dinner was fine, he didn't have any panic attacks and his mom and connor conversed well. it was a lot simpler than the brief meal conversations they had before she had to run out of the house.

connor said he was taking evan somewhere after dinner and his mom was driving home alone to get some sleep.

evan kissed her goodbye before climbing in connor's car.

"where are we headed at this time?" evan asked, putting on his seatbelt.

"the forest."

evan turned to give him a look. "are you trying to murder me?"

"no, no." connor laughed, starting the car. "if i wanted that i would have done it earlier." he added.

evan gave him another look.

"i was joking, hansen. that was a joke." connor sighed.

evan reached over and turned on the radio.

a taylor swift song came on and connor made a disgusted sound.

evan laughed and changed the station. he came across a more soft rock one and watched as connor began singing along to 'eye of the tiger'.

they seemed to arrive at the forest extra fast and as soon as they left the sanctuary of the car, connor grabbed evan's hand and ran to their spot.

evan followed as closely as he could.

as soon as they reached the spot connor wiped sweat from his brow and removed his jacket, hanging it on a branch as if it were a coat rack.

he made a move that looked like he was sitting down and evan followed before connor stuck out a finger.

"no, no. you'll want to be standing."

"for what?"

connor suddenly got down on one knee and pulled something out of his pocket.

evan felt his heart beat faster and his eyes widen as he realized what was happening.

"c-connor, don't you think we're a bit too young to-"

"relax evan, i'm not asking you to marry me. yet." connor insisted, running a hand through his hair. "hear me out."

"alright."

"evan hansen. you are a beautiful, beautiful person. you are the epitome of sunshine and you practically smell like happiness. you deserve a lot better than a piece of shit like me. and i should probably leave you the fuck alone. but because i'm selfish and the thought of you with anybody else physically pains me to think about should let you know that there is no way in hell i'm letting you go." he said in what seemed to be one breath.

he continued before even letting evan disagree with his 'piece of shit' comment.

"and this is already sounding very gay, so i am going to make it even gayer because that never hurts. evan hansen, i want you to be mine for as long as you'll allow. so will you, do me the honor of being my lame boyfriend?" connor asked, opening the box.

evan gaped at the ring inside of it. "how much did that cost you, connor? jesus, you have got to take that back. that's so irresponsible of you-"

connor stood up and cupped both of evan's cheeks, kissing him to promptly shut him up. it worked and evan kissed back immediately.

connor pulled away breathlessly. "so is that a yes?"

"yes." evan answered.

connor grinned and made a move to take the ring out of its box. evan snapped it shut. "i'm serious about you having to take that back, connor. it's an engagement ring!"

"actually, it's a promise ring evan. sure, i bought it in the engagement rings part of that store in the mall, but a ring is a ring okay." connor rambled, opening it back up and grabbing evan's hand.

he slipped it onto evan's ring finger and smiled at it for a moment.

"i'm starting to think you have a finger fetish." evan said, rolling his eyes as his boyfriend held his hand up to his face.

connor sighed before kissing evan's hand. "me too."

evan laughed before reaching up and kissing connor again.

connor kissed back happily before pausing him.

"hold up."

"what?"

connor grabbed his tuxedo jacket and layed it on the ground. "we are going to make out right there."

"that's dirty and holy shit your coat, connor!" evan exclaimed, making a move to grab it.

connor held him back by wrapping an arm around his waist. "it's fine, i was going to throw it out anyway."

evan sighed. "rich people."

connor sat down before grabbing evan and pulling him on top of him.

he kissed his lips. "i can't believe you're my boyfriend."

evan smiled and kissed him again. "me neither. didn't peg you as my type."

"mhhmm. are you sure? because i'm pretty positive you thought you were straight before me." connor replied, tapping his lip.

evan blushed. "we don't speak about that."

"about what? you ignoring your gay feelings for me." connor teased.

"truth is, i knew i liked you since the whole you fighting jared thing." evan admitted.

"wow, does fighting turn you on? because i do a lot of that."

"no, no. it was the spending time with you after." evan insisted, punching his shoulder gently.

"evan, i thought i was in love with you the day you told me your name was 'hansen evan'." connor said, suddenly looking serious.

evan laughed a bit too hard. "yeah, that was bad."

"no, it was adorable."

"sure."

"you're adorable. but sometimes you're like just hot. like 'wow i am taking my pants off immediately and thinking about you when i get home tonight and pleasure myself' hot." connor said, resulting in evan punching him again.

"connor, that's gross." he said, in disgust.

"wait did you really?" he added after a moment, resulting in connor bursting into laughter before nodding.

evan blushed furiously before swatting at his chest. "wow."

connor leaned in, still half-laughing. "don't tell me you didn't think that way of me."

"nope. never."

"are you sure? because i distinctly remember you on your knees a couple days ago, with your pretty lips over my-"

"okay! i think we can stop now." evan said, sitting up and scooting away from connor.

"i was joking, baby." connor laughed, pulling evan closer to him.

"sure you were. remind me to never suck your dick again." evan said bitterly, folding his arms.

"you know what, all this talk of blowjobs is making me horny."

evan rolled his eyes.

connor leaned over and pressed a kiss to his neck and then his jaw and then his lips.

evan tried his hardest not to, but ended up letting out a little moan, resulting in connor pulling away and smiling in triumph.

evan blushed in embarrassment as connor raised an eyebrow.

"that was not my fault." evan insisted. "that's my weak spot and you know it."

"mmkay." connor said, lying back down and folding his arms under his head.

"okay." evan said determinedly, grabbing his tie and yanking him upright before kissing him firmly.

connor kissed back, before running his hands up and down evan's back.

evan's hands moved up to connor's hair and tugged gently, deepening the kiss as he did so.

connor let out the softest of moans and seemed to kiss evan harder before evan pushed him away happily wiping his face.

"got you, loser." he smirked.

"did you just-wipe your mouth?" connor asked in shock.

"yeah, you slobbered." evan said, as if it were no big deal.

"that's not true!"

"yes it is." evan declared.

"no, i will not tolerate these lies in my home."

"okay, one we're not in your home and two, admit that kiss was messy." evan said, patting his boyfriend's shoulder.

connor rolled his eyes. "screw you, i can't believe i proposed."

"connor, you said it was a promise ring!" evan said, standing up and pulling connor up.

connor dusted off his pants and muttered something incoherently.

"what?"

"i was joking!"

"my place or yours?" evan asked, grabbing his hand.

"actually, i booked a hotel."

evan's jaw dropped open. "connor, how much money did you waste today?"

"not waste, you mean put to good use!" connor said, snaking an arm around evan's waist. "besides, it'll be fun." he added, winking.

"okay. but never do that again." evan caved.

connor kissed his temple as they neared his car. "whatever you say, darling."

 


	26. connor is a violent person (confirmed by evan x2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEy guys.
> 
> this chapter sucks it's boring and I murdered oliver's already bland character.
> 
> anywho!!! please comment what you think!
> 
> also! if you haven't check out my other story.

"okay, somebody has better explain what the fuck is going on?" alana said sternly.

"ohmygod, ohmygod. they're getting married." zoe started exclaiming, grabbing onto alana.

"everyone at school is talking about it. the drug addict and the sad anxiety boy getting married." jared laughed.

"we're not getting married, okay." evan sighed looking down.

connor wrapped an arm around his waist and yanked him closer to him. "not yet."

evan gave him a look as if to say 'not helping'.

"then what's with the big ass rock on your finger?" zoe asked, before grabbing his hand to study it.

"holy fuck." jared said, with a sharp intake of breath.

"rich people." alana muttered, also seemingly entranced.

"all this just to ask him out?" jared asked with an expression of shock on his face.

connor sighed as if he were bored and leaned down and  buried his face in evan's shoulder, wrapping both his arms around him.

it's not that he didn't like his friends, he just tended to be more outgoing with evan and only evan.

evan, being the most fantastic person on the planet, understood.

he hugged connor back and rubbed his back for a moment. "it's just like a promise ring, nothing big." he answered, still holding his boyfriend.

"you guys are disgustingly cute." jared chimed.

evan blushed.

connor pulled himself away with another sigh.

"you okay?" evan asked, holding his hand.

"yeah." he replied.

"we still on for ice cream later?" alana asked, breaking the silence that followed.

"yes." they all answered in unison.

the second bell rang and they all muttered their goodbyes before scurrying away.

only evan and connor remained.

connor shoved evan against a locker gently, resulting in evan laughing.

he put a hand by his head before kissing his jaw.

evan chuckled. "we better get to class." he said, tilting his head to give connor more access.

connor kept kissing up and down his neck before hooking his fingers under the loop in evan's jeans, pulling him up to meet his lips midway.

evan kissed back rather hypocritically.

they pulled apart for a moment leaving evan breathless. "okay, so we can skip first, and only first, in your car?" he asked sheepishly.

"do you even have to ask?" connor laughed, happy he managed to get evan all hot and bothered in a cold half-empty hallway at eight am.

evan seemed to lead him to his own car as he grabbed his hand and jogged out to the parking lot.

they ended up making out in the backseat with none of their clothes off for the entire hour.

then evan gave connor the greatest blowjob.

connor attended all the rest of his classes happily for the rest of the day, much to everyone's surprise.

 

 

connor didn't even realize how it happened.

one moment he was in the library, studying during his free period, and the next he was punching oliver in the face repeatedly.

he didn't even know oliver went to their school.

he had just heard his boyfriend's name being thrown around and reacted how anyone in his situation would normally react.

he went over to the table and socked the boy in the face.

"mention evan one more time." he dared, as oliver's hands flew up to his face.

"holy shit, what the fuck was that for?"

"talking about my boyfriend like that when you know perfectly well he's taken."

oliver stood up to face connor.

they were around the same height.

"not for long. evan's going to leave you as soon as he realizes what a sad mistake of a person you are, murphy. the only place where you belong is hanging from the ceiling with a noose tied around your neck."  he replied, narrowing his eyes.

"fuck you." connor spat, before shoving him to the ground.

the rest was a blur.

 

 

  
"another whole week suspension." evan muttered, grabbing the butter from the fridge. "we have like four weeks of senior year left, connor."

"i said i was sorry, okay." connor sighed, watching as his boyfriend scooped a spoonful of butter into the mac n cheese.

evan gave him a look before going back to mixing the margarine in. "adjust your ice pack." he instructed.

connor moved it back up to where his bruise was. he didn't even remember getting hit.

"this is all my fault. i should've told him to fuck off instead of being polite and then i shouldn't have told you." evan sighed, looking dejected.

connor hopped off the dinner table and hugged evan from behind. "it wasn't your fault, okay? i just need to control my emotions a lot better. for example, i'm currently fighting the urge to forget about the mac and cheese and take you up into my room instead because that apron looks fantastic on you." he said, pulling away to study evan.

evan shoved him away. "we're not having sex for as long as you're suspended."

"a whole week? jesus, evan." connor exclaimed, running a hand through his hair.

"i didn't punch anyone." evan said, turning off the stove and taking out two plates.

connor rolled his eyes. "you'll be all over me by tonight, i guarantee it."

"cute, but that trick won't work on me amymore. i'm a changed man." he declared, scooping the macaroni on to each of the plates.

"sure." connor said, grabbing two glasses. "can we at least make out?"

"depends."

"on what?"

"however i feel."

connor laughed as he filled them both up with juice. "you always want to kiss me so no big deal."

"mhhmm." evan rolled his eyes and brought the plates over to the table.

connor followed with the two glasses and grabbed his wrist before he could sit down. "i'm genuinely sorry, evan."

evan tilted his head. "i forgive you, connor."

"so, sex?"

"no."

it was safe to say that evan was a liar and he couldn't stick to his word no matter how hard he tried.


	27. jared kleinman isn't as lonely anymore (confirmed by jared kleinman)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this a jared-centric shitty chapter.
> 
> why yes it is.
> 
> comment what you think, i love comments.
> 
> and check out my other two stories please and thanks.

jared kleinman watched as evan fed connor a fry, he crinkled his nose and looked away.

"gross." he muttered, before looking over at zoe and alana who were sharing a milkshake.

he sighed and hung his face in his hands.

jared had to face the truth sooner or later.

he was lonely.

valentine's day was coming up and alana, zoe, connor, and evan had planned a double date.

and then to make things sadder they invited jared to tag along and be a fucking fifth wheel.

he was already planning on getting drunk and playing video games alone so he declined on the offer.

jared wanted a girlfriend.

or a boyfriend.

he really didn't care.

"me and evan have to study." connor sighed, getting up from his seat at the restaurant.

"is that code for something else?" jared asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

connor shot him the middle finger which evan immediately hid by grabbing his hand and laughing nervously. "connor, don't do that." he muttered.

"see you guys tomorrow!" he smiled, dragging his boyfriend out of the building.

jared snorted and watched the pair talk in the parking lot.

connor poking evan, evan laughing, connor dramatically opening evan's door.

he found it all gross but also sort of admirable.

he wanted that.

with less of the gayness.

he turned to zoe and alana. "guys i want a significant other."

zoe screeched and alana kind of smiled.

"i was waiting for you to ask me for advice!" zoe exclaimed excitedly.

jared rolled his eyes. "weirdo."

"okay so i already have a list of people i think would suit your tastes, assuming you like boys and girls right?"

he nodded, ignoring the fact that zoe murphy was in fact a psychopath.

"okay so, we have dustin mckinley, lara lopez-"

jared stopped listening as soon as the waiter came by their table to collect their dirty dishes.

he absentmindedly handed the boy his plate before turning to look at him and holy /fuck/, was he cute.

jared was suddenly convinced he was a homosexual as he gazed upon this boy's face.

the boy grinned at him before taking the plate. "thank you." he said, reaching for evan's glass.

"are you single?" zoe suddenly asked the boy.

"yes." he replied, as if he's asked the question all the time. "but, you're not really my type."

"and what is your type exactly?"

the boy turned to look at jared with a smile. "your friend here."

and then jared did something he'd never thought he was even capable of doing.

he _blushed_.

like he was flustered.

jesus, was he becoming evan hansen or something?

"good, i was asking for him anyways. you're not really my type either." she said, intertwining her fingers with alana's.

the boy chuckled and winked at jared. "i'll be back to give you my number when i'm not carrying dirty dishes."

jared watched as walked away with the tray in his hand.

"i think i'm in love." he hummed, still staring as he disappeared behind the door to the kitchen.

"i recall someone saying that love at first sight doesn't exist." alana teased, shoving her plate away.

"shut up." jared sighed.

 

 

  
the boy's name was sam and he was incredibly sweet, as jared had gotten to learn over the week.

he was actually a freshman in college so a year older than jared himself. he worked two jobs and had his own apartment, that he offered to take jared to many times.

jared had politely declined every time.

it's not that he wasn't keen on the idea of having sex with sam.

he was just scared sam would move on quickly.

sam was grown up, he went to college, owned his own place, he was practically an adult. he was also charming, attractive, smart.

and jared was just well, jared.

he wasn't special, he was more invested in his friends relationships instead of having one of his own, he had steady bs for most of his high school career, he had a muffin top, and glasses that demanded he push them up every three minutes.

all in all, jared was a goddamn mess.

and sam well, wasn't.

he ended up confessing everything he thought to sam one night when they'd gone to see a movie and were sitting in the car.

then sam kissed him.

and that made jared happy enough for him to suddenly not care.

and then they had sex in the backseat.

 

 

"wait so you're coming? that's fantastic!" alana said, patting his back.

"thanks?" jared grimaced at her pats that were more like slaps.

"alone or with a date?" connor asked, picking at his bagel.

"don't ask him that. he might get sad." evan whispered aggressively.

"bless your heart evan, but i have a boyfriend now." jared replied, giving alana and zoe a look.

"that's great!" evan smiled.

"yeah, now i don't have to worry about you trying to steal evan." connor said, giving up on his bagel and dropping it with a sigh.

evan rolled his eyes before handing connor his muffin. "shut up and eat this."

connor happily bit into the muffin.

"so i got the reservation for eight pm." alana said, breaking the silence.

"we'll be there at seven thirty, because evan wants to be early but not too early."

evan blushed at his boyfriend before looking down at his now empty plate.

"us too." zoe said.

"we'll show up at eight, y'know like we're supposed to. and remember it's not polite to eat before everyone is seated." jared declared, grabbing his bag and getting up from the table.

"who's paying?" he asked, looking around.

"evan ate the most." zoe said, pointing at him.

"you guys all know i'm broke."

"connor's his boyfriend, so."

"i literally had a muffin."

"i'll pay, you losers." alana sighed, silencing everyone and grabbing a twenty from her purse before waving jared off.

"you know what i think i have a couple dollars..." evan exclaimed, reaching into his pocket.

"well, evan is my boyfriend." connor said, rolling his eyes and handing her a five dollar bill.

"and i had like three coffees." zoe sighed.

jared groaned before walking back over and slapping his own five bucks on the table. "can we stop guilt tripping now?"

alana smiled evily. "absolutely."

"see you guys tonight." jared chuckled, before walking away and pushing open the door.


	28. alana loves girls (confirmed by everyone)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an alana centered chapter? haha you BET
> 
> it's like shorter than the others but enjoy!!
> 
> also please check out my other deh fic? leave a comment there too, thatd make me happy

  
alana knew she was a lesbian since before she even knew what a lesbian was.

as a child, she always found girls more appealing than boys.

they seemed smarter, more mature and understanding to her.

they were also a fuck ton more attractive.

alana marveled at their hair and curves and soft facial features her entire life.

god, how she loved girls.

her mom, knew about alana's sexuality questioning since she was in elementary school.

alana would come home and ramble about a crush she had while watching her mom bake or cook.

her mom would smile knowingly and encourage alana to talk to them.

alana first kissed a girl in the nineth grade.

she was at a party and they were playing spin the bottle.

it had landed on a classmate of hers named violet.

violet had dark hair and pretty green eyes that alana couldn't tell if she envied or adored.

violet had confidentally leaned across the circle, cupped alana's face and smashed her lips against hers.

the kiss lasted a lot longer than the required thirty seconds and before alana knew it violet's hands were running over her torso.

the boys had whooped and the girls clapped as they watched on.

finally, alana pulled away, flustered.

violet winked and returned to her spot as the game went on.

towards the end of the night when everyone was split up and dancing on random people, violet had found alana and pulled her into a bedroom.

and that's how alana lost her virginity to a girl.

fast forward to earlier this year, when alana had first met zoe.

she was working her shift at the store with evan and jared both present when a girl walked in.

she pushed her sunglasses up into her hair and smiled at evan who waved nervously.

alana recognized her from school but she couldn't quite pinpoint her name.

the girl walked over to alana and stuck out her hand. "zoe murphy."

zoe murphy was beautiful.

no that was an understatement, she was breathtaking.

she had the most prettiest curls and the warmest brown eyes alana had ever seen. her lips were a light shade of pink and her skin was a smooth caramel color.

she was shorter than alana by some, and more petite.

she wore a flower printed shirt that hung loosely on her figure and light skinny jeans that hugged her curves.

"alana. beck." alana replied, unabashedly staring at the girl.

zoe smiled. "nice to meet you, alana."

alana smiled back, still staring dumbfoundedly.

 

 

 

_**unknown; hey** _

alana briefly looked away from her computer and down at her phone.

she frowned at the unknown number and immediately deleted the message.

_**unknown; it's me. zoe murphy.** _

_**unknown; sorry, i got your number from evan. hope you don't mind.** _

alana picked up her phone before sitting up as if zoe herself were present.

she saved the girl's contact and quickly replied.

_**alana; no, no. that's totally fine.** _

_**zoe; cool. so i was wondering** _

_**zoe; i mean, i know you don't know me very well** _

_**zoe; but i wanted to know if maybe** _

_**zoe; you'd like to get coffee with me or something?** _

alana beamed at her device.

_**alana; i'd love to.** _

they set up a time for the next day and alana went to bed so happy she forgot about her homework.

 

 

 

  
"jesus alana, you're shaking. calm down, okay." zoe said, fixing her position.

"i'm sorry, i just-i haven't done this much? i mean i've done it a couple of times but this time seems so much more real and recent and i'm freaking out okay." alana replied, trying to steady herself.

"you sound like evan." zoe chuckled.

"not helping!"

"okay, okay. just breathe, babe. i'm here. we're doing this together." zoe stated, kissing her girlfriends forehead.

alana took her advice and inhaled sharply before exhaling through her mouth.

"better?"

"better."

"are you seriously crying over a rollercoaster? wow alana, i thought you had balls." jared called from behind them.

"oh shut up jared." evan yelled defensively, turning back to look at him.

he and connor sat in front of them.

"make me loser." jared yelled back, stifling a laugh.

"can i do it?" connor grumbled, his face buried in his boyfriend's shoulder. he looked disinterested and unamused by the whole ordeal.

"fuck you murphy." jared said, but he did sound a bit scared.

connor turned around angrily and looked like he was about to say  something before his boyfriend turned him back around and shoved his face back into his shoulder in an attempt to shush him.

"yeah, you better control your ho-." jared said before the ride suddenly groaned and began to start.

by the end of the ride jared was crying, alana had her eyes shut tight and was praying, zoe was laughing, and evan was frozen all while connor was just smiling.

as soon as they stood up, jared ran to the nearest garbage can and threw up everything he'd eaten before.

connor held his boyfriend who still seemed to be speechless.

zoe smirked at alana. "see, i told you that wouldn't be so bad!"

alana gave her a nervous smile. "that was okay."

"nice! let's do it again." zoe exclaimed, much to the protest of everyone who was not her brother.

"fine whatever." she mumbled after being rejected.

alana slung an arm around her as they walked to the car.

 

 

 

 


	29. connor and alana are both annoying drunks (confirmed by zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! so sadly, there's only going to be one more chapter of this story :(
> 
> it's been a long and wild ride but suprisingly i don't regret it. 
> 
> thank you for all the wonderful comments and please check out my other stories!

  
"that's a lot of white people." zoe pointed out, watching the crowd of people flock around, shaking hands and sipping on champagne and ice water.

"if you haven't noticed zoe, our mother is white. so it would make sense for most of her family members to also be of caucasian descent." connor replied, narrowing his eyes cynically as he studied the guests with zoe.

"where's your boyfriend? i thought weddings were the best place to hook up." zoe teased turning away from the door to the inside of the church and walking over to a mirror that hung in the hallway.

"his mom is bringing him sadly. and don't bring him up, i miss him already." connor sighed before running a hand through his hair.

zoe swatted at it, making connor recoil in surprise. "don't mess up your hair."

"what the _fuck_ , zoe?" connor mumbled. "i think mom should take _you_ to anger management."

"sorry, i'm just so stressed." zoe admitted, adjusting her dress and fixing her hair. "i mean i was in charge of seating arrangements for the meal but what if i accidentally sat two people who have bad history besides each other and a fight breaks out as mom's walking down the aisle and she hates me forever. and the flowers i picked? what if she doesn't like those?"

"you sound like evan." connor mumbled before he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her. "everything is going to be alright." he said firmly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

zoe hugged him back happily, burying her face in his chest.

"i feel like i'm walking in on a private moment." a voice chimed from behind them.

the siblings jumped apart and turned to see jared kleinman, clad in a gray suit.

"am i late?" he asked walking over and checking himself out in the mirror.

"early." zoe answered, rolling her eyes.

"damn it, i wanted to be fashionably late." jared muttered before looking down at the watch on his wrist. "also sad boy and sapphic goddess are here." he added after a seconds hesitation.

"did you just-nevermind where is he?"  connor began, immediately straightening himself.

"how do you know?" zoe asked cynically, folding her arms.

"uhh, because i drove them."

"i thought evan's mom-"

"heidi's here too, and she looks _fantastic_ if i do say so myself."

"jared, that's my _mom_  you're talking about." a soft voice exclaimed from behind them.

zoe smiled at evan and her girlfriend, who both looked impeccable.

evan wore a cute blue button up and a patterned tie, he had seemed to have combed his hair and looked very nervous. alana on the other hand, seemed confident in her deep blue dress. it hugged her curves and accentuated her slim features as she daintily made her way towards them.

"that is sort of creepy." she chuckled, her arm looped in evan's.

"you look-"

"i-"

the murphy siblings stuttered on their words as they gazed upon their two significant others.

"you guys are like, the biggest losers ever." jared said, bursting into laughter.

"shut up." connor muttered, his eyes still trained on evan.

suddenly a breathless heidi hansen interrupted them as she burst through the church doors. "am i late?" she asked, surveying the five teens.

connor looked down at the watch he'd been forced to wear. "not yet." he answered looking up at her. "there's just about five minutes left until the guy starts talking."

"the ceremony begins." zoe corrected her brother.

"whatever." connor replied, before briskly grabbing evan's hand and leading him into the church. "we're going to sit in the back."

"dude your mom's getting married, she'd like to see your face."

"she sees it everyday, she'll be fine." connor called from behind his shoulder as he and evan disappeared behind the door.

jared, zoe, and alana all shared a collective sigh as heidi watched the two leave.

"they're cute, aren't they?" she said happily.

"disgustingly so." jared added, wrinkling his nose.

"we'd better get going then!" heidi chimed, ignoring jared's comment.

he stuck out his arm to her, making her laugh before she took it and they entered the church.

zoe turned to alana and took a deep breath.

"you excited?" alana asked, leaning over and brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"of course." zoe answered, taking advantage of their proximity and pressing a brief kiss to alana's lips.

"good." her girlfriend replied before taking her hand.

alana's hands were always warm and dry, contrary to connor's cold, hard ones or cynthia's soft, sweaty palms.

"shall we?" alana teased, looking to the doors.

"we shall."

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
"jesus alana."

"you asked me if i could do it."

"yeah, but i didn't ask you to _do_ it!"

"too bad, so sad." the girl replied, grinning hazily as her fingers traced the ripped can.

zoe snatched the beer can out of her girlfriends hands and turned to connor. "what the _fuck_ , con? why would you dare her to shotgun a beer?"

"i didn't dare her! why is everybody accusing me!" connor shouted frustratedly, and his sister could practically smell how drunk he was.

he looked about close to tears as evan walked over and wrapped his arms around him. "i've got this." he assured zoe, blushing as he dragged his boyfriend out of the booth and into the bathroom.

"it _wasn't_ my fault, evan!" zoe heard her brother sob faintly.

she sighed and turned to look at alana who was now eating connor's plate of cheesy fries.

"why did you talk us into eating here?" zoe asked turning to jared who was sipping on a cocktail.

"because it's like the only place where they sell alcohol to minors." he said as if that explained everything. 

"god, you suck." she groaned, swatting alana's hand away from evan's burger.

he laughed and kept drinking.

suddenly evan and connor reappeared. connor looked like he was almost asleep as he leaned against evan's shoulder.

"uhm, i called an uber." evan said, holding connor so he didn't fall.

"thank you, evan." zoe grabbed alana's hand, hoisting her out of her seat.

"are we leaving?" alana asked dejectedly.

"yes, yes we are." zoe answered before glaring at jared. "you're paying."

he simply shrugged and leaned over to grab a fry.

zoe rolled her eyes and led alana outside, careful to not let her trip on her face.

once outside, zoe and evan forced the two intoxicated teens into the car and climbed in themselves.

"i love you guys." connor mumbled wrapping his arms around both evan and zoe's necks. "you guys are like my favorite people."

evan blushed and zoe removed connor's hand with a laugh. "you are so going to regret this tomorrow."


	30. last one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we say bye to our kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been an absolutely wild ride, i am so lucky to have had you guys to help me through it. i think my writing has greatly improved since writing this and i think i owe my first story a well wrtten last chaper. without further ado, the gang goes to college!

 

Evan glared at the clock on the wall. Time seemed to seep by at such a leisurely pace it frustrated him. It didn’t help that he felt his anxiety growing in the pit at the base of his stomach either. Ignoring the beads of sweat forming on his brow, he looked back at the professor who happened to be droning on and on in a monotone voice. Evan tried his hardest to focus on his words to distract his body, but it was too late. He felt himself begin to hyperventilate, his chest feeling as if it were constricting. He tried his breathing exercises, thanking the Lord for being able to sit in the back and for the professor’s loud voice.  _ Inhale, outhale.  _ He thought about nice things like the flower shop he used to work at and Zoe and Alana and even Jared. He thought about his mom and Mrs. Murphy. And he thought about Connor. 

 

Wonderful Connor. Connor who happened to be a couple states away in his own class. Maybe he was sitting at a desk and thinking of Evan. Evan hoped so. 

 

Finally, the loud professor let them go. Assigning them their homework as they filed out of the classroom. Instead of hanging back like he used to, Evan was one of the first people out of the door, desperate to go to a bathroom and breathe or cry or something. He was nearly sprinting towards the restrooms when he noticed a familiar head of dark hair. He paused and looked back at the person, if the hair wasn’t enough to go by, Evan recognized his boyfriend by his distinctly lanky stature. 

 

Approaching him cautiously, Evan calculated the odds of Connor being here. He had classes, didn’t he? And he’d have to have driven a couple hours to see him. Wouldn’t he have told him beforehand? Connor wasn’t the surprising type. He gently tapped his shoulder, prompting the person to turn around and reveal himself as the one and only Connor Murphy.

 

Connor’s face went from a hardened glare to a look of shock. “Evan.” He said, his voice breathless.

 

“Hi,” Evan responded after a moment of collecting himself. 

 

Evan was very familiar with the feeling of having the wind knocked out of you when no one had even touched you. He got it all the time, that reaching for air feeling and winded lungs burning sensation. Whether the situation is good or bad, he just knew it, through and through. This was a good one. 

 

Connor immediately enveloped him in a hug, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Evan hugged him back vehemently, happy to have something to ground him again. They pulled away briefly and Connor cupped Evan’s cheek. “Wow.” He said, his face still holding a happy smile.

 

“Wow is right,” Evan chuckled, feeling his heart pound and Connor leaned down to press his lips to Evan’s. Evan felt himself practically melt in his arms as he kissed back happily. They jumped apart at the sound of loud honking. Expecting to be a jerk, Evan tried to tug him away before noticing who was in the car. An angry Alana Beck stuck her head out the window and glared at them. “Tone down the PDA, and get in the car please.” She called before shoving Zoe’s propped up legs from off the airbag. This resulted in her girlfriend swatting at her arm and a small catfight ensued.

 

Connor and Evan embraced one last time before walking over to the car hand in hand, determined to break up the raging fight going on. 

 

__

 

“So, college,” Connor said, his lips twisting into a grin as he took a swig from the beer can Alana had just handed him. 

 

“College,” Evan repeated, smiling back before sipping on his apple juice. He wasn’t sure how much Connor had to drink, but he knew it was a lot. He didn’t feel the need to crack down on him so hard, considering he was on break for a week or two now. Evan decided to let him wake up with a hangover as a sign that he should really quit excessive drinking.

 

Connor inched a bit closer to him, setting the drink down on the counter. “You still don’t drink? It’s college, Evan.” He said pointedly, dragging his finger down the side of Evan’s face, making him blush slightly.

 

Evan slyly reached for the beer before handing it to Alana, rubbing Connor’s back to distract the long-haired boy from noticing. “It’s a, uh, preference.” He insisted, not wanting to admit he was scared of the physical consequences of consuming alcohol. It’s like he knew he wouldn’t get cancer from just one sip, but he could? And it would be all his fault for even trying the stupid thing. 

 

Connor lifted his head before burying it into Evan’s chest again. “We’re so old, Hansen. So fucking old. You know, I always thought I’d be dead by now. But I am not. I am alive and well and dating the prettiest boy in the world, scratch that, the galaxy! Life doesn’t suck that much anymore, man. It's really coming together.” He sighed wistfully, smiling at nothing in particular happily. 

 

Evan stifled a laugh as he pet his boyfriend’s hair, he glanced over at Alana and Zoe. Zoe was ranting drunkenly as Alana braided her hair, nodding her head every now and then to indicate she could hear her. He missed Jared. Jared, who happened to get into some tech school states away. Aside from that missing piece he could see what Connor meant. Life was really coming together. And he was happy he’d stayed alive long enough to see it do so. 


End file.
